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Shaun White is really something.

02/18/2010 12:15 AM

Shaun White just won gold, again, in the the snowboard halfpipe. This kid is awesome. It wasn’t even close. You know how hard it is to distance yourself by a large margain at an Olympic event? Very hard. Think Usain Bolt. It’s hard to do. Shaun White is amazing. In honour of his brilliance, I will now rank the top ten Whites of all time.

1) Greg White. I went to school with him. He was a great skateboarder.

2) Shaun White. He’s just sick. He was expected to win, so he won.

3) Ian White. From Steinbach. Played for the Leafs. Now plays for the Flames. Best slapshot in the NHL of anyone under 6 feet tall not named Mike Cammalleri. Good fisherman.

4) Timothy White. WWE referee and former assistant to Andre the Giant.

5) Jaleel White. TV’s Steve Urkel. Still hilarious.

6) Slappy White. He was on Sanford & Son, but even if he hadn’t he would be on the list as his name is Slappy. Awesome.

7) Jack White. Not the guy from the White Stripes, the Jack White that produced Laura Branigan’s "Gloria".

8) Alan White. The drummer from Oasis. Also the drummer from Yes. Different guy, same name.

9) Barry White. Once jailed for stealing $30,000 worth of Cadillac tires. That was a lot of tires back then.

10) Devon White. One of the greatest Blue Jays in history. Batted .336 for his career in the playoffs vs. .270 in the regular season.