DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The only way to keep my girlfriend from cheating on me is to mark her. She is embarrassed by hickey marks, so I try to make sure she goes home with some every time we see each other. I was thinking of asking her to move in, so I could keep a better eye on her. She is very insecure, scared to be alone and tends to stray when she's left alone. I have a night job. I've caught her cheating a few times and she always says, "It's your fault for leaving me alone to the wolves." Truth be told, she goes to the bar where the wolves are. I love her and want to make it good, please help me. -- Embarrassed, Winnipeg
Dear Embarrassed: This is a young woman you can't trust out of your sight, yet you have swallowed the idea it's your fault she cheats. Since it seems to be OK with you that she's not faithful, consider shifting your work schedule so you can be with her when she needs someone to hang with. Night work tends to be hard on any relationship. Warning: even if you get a day job and can be with her at night, she has no taboo against cheating and it's my guess she'll also cheat on you a little in the daytime.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm in love with a crazy man from the country. I only see him when I go home to the rez. I love him, but he always asks me for money because he doesn't have much. I have an education and a steady job in the city, and of course he knows that. He doesn't ask for much, but I feel uneasy when he asks and ties it to sex. "I give you lots of sex, don't I?" he says. "I just need a little loan to get by." This isn't a loan; it's cash I will never get back. I can afford it, but I hate the cash transaction whenever we see each other. I feel like I'm turning into a john, like the ones some of my friends know in the city. What should I do? I know he is crazy about me, too. -- Paying For Love, St. Vital
Dear Paying For Love: There's more work in the city for this dude. Ask him if he'd consider staying with friends in Winnipeg and looking for a job of his own. It's likely he won't want to do this. Then you have a choice to make. The situation right now makes you feel like a john, or a joan, and that's going to wear the relationship out soon. Think ahead. Do you see this situation changing? Is this the guy you want to be with long-term? Do you not feel how one-sided this is when you pay to travel to see him, and then pay him too? Whatever you do, don't invite this guy to live with you. You are already losing respect for him and for yourself.