Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Age gap, sexual style make it hard to keep romance alive

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new young lady friend takes Halloween seriously and really goes all out. She is younger than I am and she's been into things I'm too straight to want to know about. Last night after two bottles of wine over dinner, she suggested we invite a certain couple over in vampire costume "for a scene" on Halloween -- for a foursome. I choked. She said she'd already made "inquiries" and knows this couple is into group sex and thinks we are attractive. I don't want to dress like a stupid vampire to have sex with her and certainly not with another couple. I think the 11-year age difference is catching up. Please help. -- Man, 38, Not a Vampire, University of Manitoba

Dear Man: Halloween will pass soon enough, and your 27-year-old girlfriend should probably pass out of your life with it. This could be a good thing -- the excuse you need. The gap between you is not just one of age and stage, but of sexual style and preference. She is adventurous and open to group sex, and you are not. You're not about to get into costume to play roles either. At 38 and straight you're not a match for this wild thing, so why continue? You two are incompatible sexually. It's good to know these things early on, and now you do. What will you do about it?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is mesmerized by porn. I have asked her to go for help but she says she likes what she's doing, and I get lots of sex from her. She says there's "no problem." She says I get more sex than most married men because she is stimulated by the porn. Great. I took an evening when she was out at the VLTs to see what she was looking at, and I felt shocked, totally humiliated. This is what she wants? These guys are probably "photo-enhanced' but I get the big idea. It's all about size and I will never be that size. I thought it was grotesque. But she seems to like looking at these guys. Does that mean she wishes she had that with me? Ain't going to happen. Is that what she thinks about when I have sex with her? I am thinking of packing my bags. What can I do? -- Normal Size Guy, Steinbach

Dear Normal: Tell her now much you hate her porn habit and ask her to stop. Tell her there are specialized counsellors who can help her to kick the habit. If she says she's not going for help -- a real likelihood -- you have a decision to make. Porn habits have ripped a lot of marriages apart. Some people might suggest you pop up your own porn sites, and sit beside her, but that's like living parallel sex lives, where you and she are not really the connection. Your best hope is if she sees you're serious about leaving, and doesn't want to pay that price.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Years after abandoning my wife, I came back to Manitoba because I really missed home. My first mistake was going to a social with old friends. Some of her crowd was there and they phoned my ex-wife immediately. She showed up at the social and she had a few drinks of hard liquor as soon as she arrived. About halfway through the next hour, she walked over to my table and hit me so hard across the face I thought I heard my jaw bone snap. She was coming at me for more, but her friends pulled her off. I had to go see my best friend who is a doctor, but he said I was OK. At the social, she yelled, "Get out of Winnipeg, you $%@#& or I will make your life a living hell." Should I go back to Edmonton? -- Dead Serious, North End

Dear Serious: You have a right to live in Winnipeg if you wish, without being assaulted. You don't say what you did as far as ditching your wife is concerned, but that doesn't excuse her pounding you in the face. Uttering threats is also against the law. If you wish, you can lay charges. If you feel like you deserve one hit for what you did to her six years ago -- this is my hunch -- let it be known through a reliable branch of the lightning-fast grapevine that you will go to police and charge her if she ever utters threats or touches you again.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 28, 2012 A1

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Lindor Reynolds speaks candidly about life with terminal cancer

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • An American White Pelican takes flight from the banks of the Red River in Lockport, MB. A group of pelicans is referred to as a ‘pod’ and the American White Pelican is the only pelican species to have a horn on its bill. May 16, 2012. SARAH O. SWENSON / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS
  • A goose cools off Thursday in water at Omands Creek Park-See Bryksa 30 day goose challenge- Day 25– June 21, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Will you get out and vote for a new mayor and council?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google