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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Ask bus buddy if he's free before ride goes too far
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am so excited. I met a beautiful man with a twinkle in his eye on a Pembina morning bus two weeks ago. We rode to work downtown, flirting all the way. The next morning he was on the very same bus and now we always ride together. I told him I'm actually divorced and he seemed pleased. He is not wearing a wedding ring and neither am I. Last time we talked about the importance of passion in a relationship -- quite a topic. I could hardly work all morning! I am afraid to ask him if he is married because this is the most fun I have had in 10 years. Should I ask, and risk it all? -- Hot Bus Fever, Winnipeg
Dear Fever: It's strange you don't know his marital status after all those rides together. He may be hiding something. It's better to find out now that you've had some fun, but before you start having feelings for him. So get it over with. Tomorrow morning, get on that bus, plunk yourself down and say: "So, are you married? Got a girlfriend?" If he's not taken, and doesn't have to get home to anyone, ask him if he'd like to meet for drinks and dinner that night? Push it to the wall pleasantly, but push it, and see if he's truly available.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 48. I know that sounds strange -- he is old enough to be my father -- yet he is not fatherly towards me. I am very mature, having raised my six younger siblings in a tough situation and don't want any "more" children. He likes to take care of me and pamper me, and man, could I use some of that after all I've been through. The flies in the ointment are his friends. They all but ignore me, because he left his wife for me. He says their attitude to him -- knowing his wife -- is that he must be having a mid-life crisis and will come to his senses and get over me. We are intellectual people -- met at the university -- and love to read and discuss until the middle of the night. We make love, go fishing, hang out at his little hunting cottage and are every happy. But, how do I get his friends to take me seriously? -- The Outsider, Winnipeg
Dear Outsider: You could try to win them over one by one, but why go to that much trouble, when they have made up their minds not to like you? What you need is a second set of friends you build up together, composed of your more mature pals, and a few of his friends who don't side with his ex-wife. Be aware a former couples' friends often spy for the party who feels wronged. You don't need people in your group of friends reporting back on everything you do.
Please email problems for Miss Lonelyhearts to lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters to 1355 Mountain Ave., R2X 3B6.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 8, 2012 C3
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