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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Ask questions to unlock the truth... and the trunk

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 02/19/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0 (including replies)

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am disappointed by the way my new girlfriend presents her sexual kinks in the bedroom -- and then doesn't invite me to play. Her bedroom is "equipped," if you know what I mean. There are semi-hidden things, like a mirror with curtains over it at the head of the bed, never opened, at least when I'm around. Then there's a short brass headboard with brass bars and places for restraints with black scarves dangling from them, ditto for the bottom of the bed. Under the bed she has a flat suitcase she calls her tickle trunk, which I have never been allowed to look through. It has a lock on it. I can see she is a kinky kind of lady, and it excites me, but she doesn't invite ME to play. I am scared to ask, for fear she will get rid of me. -- Shy Guy, But Willing, St. Vital

Dear Shy: Maybe she's waiting for you to show curiosity. It's time for questions and a show of willingness to experiment -- if that's what you want to do. Bondage games require more trust than she might find in the prelude to a romance. Maybe she's waiting to see how things progress, and right now she pegs you as a conservative guy. She may think you need to be gradually led into what appears to be mild bondage and mirror play, but could be much heavier if you had a look in the locked tickle trunk. She's not hiding the minor hints, so clearly she likes you. But, before you volunteer for this drama, you should find out whether she wants you to be submissive or dominant, or to try both. Just having the equipment doesn't mean one thing or the other, necessarily, so it's important to ask.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I know most people will disapprove of this, but I have two boyfriends -- one is in town and a very nice guy. The other is out-of-town and just flies in for business about once a month or so. I can't exist on that little sex and affection, so I have to have a local lover. I'm a highly-sexed woman and cybersex will only take me so far between his visits. My online guy is quite aware of my local guy, although my Winnipeg guy is still in the dark. When my imported romance flew in last weekend, he asked me how casual the relationship with "the local yokel" was. I was annoyed enough to say it was very passionate and caring. Then he blindsided me by saying he'd like to meet the guy he shares me with, so he could see the competition. I said that was impossible, of course. Then he said something that has me up nights: "Maybe I'd really like him. Why don't you have a party and invite him next time I'm in town next time?" What does that mean? -- Awake and Wondering, North Kildonan

Dear Awake: Mr. Out-of-Town is feeling jealous. That's why he called your Winnipeg man "the local yokel" to diminish him. But you replied with a defence of his rival! Having lost on that front, he decided to play with your mind. Hence the "really like him" phrase -- a hint he may be interested in joining the action in a threesome. That's what has you sleepless, isn't it? There's another possibility, too. He may just want to meet his rival at a party so he can assert ownership of you in front of him and scare him off. Here's the deal: It's time to choose. Your glamorous out-of-town fellow is about to make trouble, and the local man would make the most sense anyway, as he is physically present more of the time. Or, how about setting yourself free to meet someone totally new, who totally captures your heart?

And here's my health lecture: When you're playing with two people at once you owe it to both of them to be truthful about the fact you're not being exclusive. If one or both men choose to opt out, that's the risk you take. There are big health risks when you're messing around with more than one person. Each person brings to the bedroom their sexual history with other partners up to that very day.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 19, 2012 A15

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