Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Ask your hubby to join you in counselling

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have done something sinful. I have deep needs, and my husband is nice but boring. I have grown close to my neighboru because of our mutual interest in antique cars. I often stop in at his garage to see what he is doing with his beautiful antique car and he has a whole shop with a sofa. We were sitting down talking the other day and he offered me a beer out of his fridge. I thanked him as he handed it to me, and our fingers touched and I swear there were sparks off that touch. We sat down on the couch and we kissed and it was so passionate we just burned it from there. It was the first sex outside my marriage. I am not really sorry now, except I feel it must not go on because it is against my beliefs. It was only once and I went to confession already. Should I tell my husband? -- Just Once, Winnipeg

Dear Once: Why did you go to visit this attractive man in his garage repeatedly? This wasn't the one-time accident you make it out to be. Since you're not really sorry, except for the religious guilt, one roll on the couch will probably become many. Your marriage is in trouble with a nice guy -- nothing to sneeze at. It would be best to ask your husband to go to counselling with you and get this out in the open and see what can be done to improve your love life -- if he still wants to be with you. What you're doing is not fair to him -- and it's dangerous. Did you think to use a condom? By messing around, you are risking giving your husband a sexually-transmitted infection. Your sweetheart in the garage may be using the couch for other ladies as well.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When I came back from my holiday to the Caribbean this winter, I felt something drastic was missing in my life. I thought I knew myself but I found I was sick of my job, my neighbourhood, my life in general. I asked my wife if she'd consider pulling up stakes and moving with me and she laughed in my face. "I'm not leaving my family just because you're having a mid-life crisis!" she said. And that was that. Except it wasn't! I want to go so bad, and I am in my late 30s and we never had any kids. I can work anywhere as my work is computer-based. My wife is a nurse, so why couldn't she move? I may have to go without her. -- Dangerously Restless, South St. Vital

Dear Restless: Paradise often doesn't seem like heaven after you've been there trying to make a living and live a normal day-to-day life. Rather than throw away your whole life here, ask your wife to take a leave of several months and go to the Caribbean and try it out with you. If she says no, you may have to go for a couple of months yourself. Try not to end everything with everyone here because most northerners don't love a tropical paradise past six months. They miss the structure, the feeling of belonging, and even the four seasons of weather back home.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a small dog who sleeps with her. The dog hates me and has bitten me a few times in the month we've been together, but not too hard because I was wearing jeans. The time last week I was trying to shake the dog off, and accidentally kicked it. She hugged the dog up and told me I was "cruel to animals." I told her she shouldn't have a dog who bites. It took us four days to get past that. Last night I stayed over and she and I started getting busy and the dog bit me hard in the calf. I yelled bloody murder and grabbed my clothes and went home. Are we finished? I really like this girl. -- Dog's Victim, Wolseley

Dear Victim: Don't expect this girl to get rid of the dog. Be glad you only wasted a month. The biting dog is the deal-breaker. The girlfriend doesn't like you all that much. Proof? She didn't close the door on the dog and keep you from harm. A few preliminary chews had shown her what would happen, especially if it looked like you were attacking her, the mistress of the house. So, she and the dog are bed mates now. You are free to look for a woman who only wants you in the bed with her, and cares enough to want to keep you safe.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 22, 2012 D12

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