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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Assure parents you're waiting
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm 16, and in love for life. My parents don't think it's love, but it is. It's not "like" or "lust" or "hanging out." It's real! We'd like to get married as soon as we're old enough. Our parents are throwing fits. My boyfriend and I have exchanged promise rings and we're dead serious. He's 17. My parents are afraid for us to be alone now, for fear we're having sex, but we're both virgins. We'd like to make love, but not before the wedding night. Our religion forbids sex before marriage. What can we tell our parents? They have nothing to worry about, except the young marriage that will never end. -- Deeply In Love, Outside Winnipeg
Dear Deeply: Tell them exactly what you have told me, or show them this column if they won't listen. Their underlying worry is you two are so crazy about each other that you will lose control and end up with a baby on the way. A second worry is most young people change their tastes as they mature. Someone you might love at 16 might not be the kind of person you love at 21. So how can you calm your folks? Even though you have no intentions of having sex, you might be wise to carry condoms with you in case things should ever get out of control. You might want to tell your parents about the back-up plan you think you will never use.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My grandmother who raised me, has just died. I'm in terrible grief. My parents are useless. I get no comfort from them -- only worry -- as they are both alcoholics. I feel abandoned now by the only person who's ever loved me and supported me. I'm 31 years old and never will be married because I am too fat. What can I do to make my life bearable again? I' a loving person -- a nurse -- and enjoyed taking care of my grandmother who was sick the last few years. -- Orphaned, Winnipeg
Dear Orphaned: There are other ways to have a loving household. If you like animals and have the money and time, you can adopt pets who will love you unconditionally and you can lavish love and care on them. Lots of animals feel orphaned just as you do right now. Another thing you might consider is adopting, as a single parent. What you need to do is create your own family, with or without a mate. And don't totally give up on the idea of finding love. Consider looking for a mate online, being honest about your weight. Some men like a luxury-sized woman, and are carrying a few extra pounds themselves.
Please email your problems for Miss Lonelyhearts to lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters to 1355 Mountain Ave., R2X 3B6.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 3, 2012 D5
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