Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Be beary wary, but don't be afraid of the lake

  • Print

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a bear in the woods near my cabin. I locked the doors and pushed furniture up against them, and waited in silence until he lumbered away.

I'm scared to go back now. It is my own beautiful cabin in the bush by a lake, left by my grandparents to me. I love it, but this year I have no boyfriend and I go there alone. Because I'm writing poetry and songs for a CD, I don't really want company. Then I have to cook and entertain. How can I get comfortable with going back to my cabin? Can anybody help me keep away the bears? -- Scared Stiff of Bears, Winnipeg

Dear Scared: Think stink. Cooking and garbage smells are seductive. Kitchen exhaust fans are a siren call. Bears have better noses than humans and can smell food in old refrigerators or freezers. The ends of drain pipes from sinks and dishwashers often contain tidbits of old foods. Diapers are delicious; so are unrinsed containers and dirty paper plates that went into a garbage bag. Even empty garbage cans themselves carry an attractive stink, so use Lysol on them. Also, get the bear-proof cans with airtight, snap-on lids. Keep all meats in sealed containers and think twice about using the barbecue when you're all by yourself there.

Rather than not using the beautiful cabin, loosen up and bring friends for protection this summer, the kind who can take care of themselves. You can write when they're canoeing, swimming or cooking. When they're sleeping, write by the light of the moon.

If any cottage owners in bear country have suggestions, especially to do with noise and weapons, please write in with help.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My latest girlfriend is obsessed with Adam Lambert, even though he is gay and "out" about it. He's 15 years younger than she is. She has all his fan paraphernalia and was front and centre at the Queen concert with her girlfriends. Ridiculous, at her age!

I didn't go with her, as I would have felt redundant. What kills me is I find myself jealous of a gay man. She tries to get me to dress like him, but at five-foot-seven, I'm hardly a stand-in. I'm aware he's a natural redhead like me, but that's where the resemblance ends. I refuse to dye my hair and eyebrows black. Should I break up with her? Weirded Out, East Kildonan

Dear Weirded Out: A lot of guys have put up with mates who were in love with Elvis Presley/Paul McCartney/Jon Bon Jovi. Some women have even taped posters on the ceiling over the bed for convenient over-the-shoulder viewing. Whether the sexy star is gay or straight makes little difference to the fan, as they know they're never going to get close enough for that to be an issue.

Some boyfriends or husbands think it's amusing for a while, but most get sick of playing second fiddle to a fantasy man who sings and dances in their girlfriends' or wives' heads as they try to have sex with her. Ironically, most women would HATE knowing the identity of a female sex symbol writhing in her man's head during sex. It's highly insulting.

Let this immature girlfriend of whatever age go home to her poster collection of Adam Lambert and free yourself up to find a woman who thinks you are sexy. Find out early on if she has crush on a celebrity. Ask casually, but take the answer very seriously, as in, "The cheque, please!"


Please send your questions or comments c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 4, 2014 D4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Total Body Tune-Up: Farmer's Carry

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A black swallowtail butterfly land on Lantana flowers Sunday morning at the Assiniboine Park English Gardens- standup photo – August 14, 2011   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Marc Gallant/Winnipeg Free Press. Local/Standup- BABY BISON. Fort Whyte Centre's newest mother gently nudges her 50 pound, female bull calf awake. Calf born yesterday. 25 now in herd. Four more calfs are expected over the next four weeks. It is the bison's second calf. June 7, 2002.

View More Gallery Photos


Do you agree with the sale of the Canadian Wheat Board to foreign companies?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google