Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/5/2013 (1427 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I did the dishes for the last time at noon last Saturday before a big dinner party organized by my live-in. He didn't lift one fat finger to help, except to unscrew more beer and wait for his friends and their wives to come. I shopped, barbecued, made salads and baked an apple pie for his friends and their wives/girlfriends. At dinner, he sat there like the king, taking credit. At the end, he said, "No need to help the little lady, she's so good at this!" I said goodbye and closed the door to them. Then I walked over to the table and asked my lazy-ass about-to-be-ex to hold the giant garbage bag. "Put it at the end of the table," I said. Then I snapped the dishes on the cloth down the table and into the garbage bag, with glasses hitting the floor and breaking on both sides. He yelled, "WTF is happening? Have you gone totally nuts?" and I said, "See those broken dishes? That's what's happened to our relationship, because you are such a selfish, lazy, no good macho jerk!" Then I picked up my packed suitcases and moved home. He has been crying and begging for me to come back ever since. What should I do? -- Not Sorry, Winnipeg Outskirts
Dear Not Sorry: If you meant this and you weren't just staging a scene to make a point, block him in every way -- phone, computer, texting, the works. Then get some counselling so you don't inadvertently pick out another macho baby who turns out to be just like him. No doubt he was fun and appealing in the beginning, but he had a flip side. You must learn to stop over-giving. Not many women would have agreed to do all the work. That's an unattractive motherly habit you have to learn to stop, if you want an equal partnership with a man, and children who actually grow up one day.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My charming younger brother has stolen things from me all my life and denied it. There is always $5 or $10 gone from my place or from my jacket pockets after he visits. Last weekend he stole $50. I blew up! Last night I needed a car to join my friends at the lake so I stopped by my folks' house while he was the bar and they were at the lake. His car was there. I got his spare car keys off the hook, and took his car. When I phoned him from the lake the next day at noon, I said, "Look out the door." He saw the car was gone from the back and I said, "I borrowed it, just like you borrowed $50 from me last weekend. You have stolen money from me all my life! See how it feels?" Today he's threatening to go to the cops, even though he got his car back right away. What should I do? -- Sister of a Petty Thief, Wpg.
Dear Sister: Make an estimated list of all the money and other things he has stolen from you. Then call a family meeting and present the list. Make such a big fuss in front of everybody he can't possibly continue with his plan to call the police -- and never do something that stupid again. No matter what somebody does to you, doing something illegal in retaliation can get you in big trouble. You do need to stop seeing your brother in your own place where he can pick up more stuff. And leave your purse or wallet locked in your car when you see him at your folks' house.