Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Don't let mom's deadbeats make you give up

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm sick because my mother is seeing another dud, and he's always over here, picking his guitar and eating all our food. My mother has terrible taste. This guy is a good singer and makes a few bucks on the weekends playing in a band, but he's dead lazy. She's already feeding him dinner every night and he stays over here every second night so he doesn't need to buy soap and shampoo and can raid the fridge for breakfast and make a sandwich for lunch. When I asked him where he lives he said, "With a friend for now." Translation: he's couch-surfing. As for a day job, he works at a beer vendor a couple of times a week. When I tried to tell my mother he's another mooch, she said I was just jealous because I don't have a boyfriend of my own. That's true, and I want to keep it that way. I'm 17 and in Grade 12. My mother is making me hate men. Every guy is just there to suck every dime out of her bank account and play guitar for her.

Should I go live with my dad? He's a good guy, but it's lonely and boring over there and all my friends live around here. -- Giving Up On Men, North Kildonan

Dear Giving Up: Go ahead and give up on your mother's type of men. Luckily, that's only a tiny percentage of the male population and the same number of women are lazy leeches, too. There's nothing you can do to influence your mom's taste, so get ready to work hard, take care of yourself and build a great life. You're 17 -- a pivotal age -- so it's time you put all your energy into setting up an education path for yourself that starts next year.

You'll need to start socking away money from a part-time job ASAP. It's also time to fill out applications for places you might like to attend, and seek out every scholarship, bursary and loan available. If you don't know what career you'd like to pursue, see your guidance counsellors for aptitude testing. And, it's time to talk to your dad about moving in with him this fall to go to whatever post-secondary institution interests you. If you're spending most of your time at college and a part-time job, you won't mind that dad's house isn't a hub of social activity. Plus, you can bring new friends you admire over. Now is the time to study hard and pull in the best marks you possibly can. You see, it's not about your mother anymore, it's about you and you future.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last weekend I met an idiot at a party and went to bed with her. We were both drunk on tequila. One night with her was enough and I ran out of there at the crack of dawn. But, this is 2014 and she has many ways to contact me. I have heard from her by text, phone and Facebook countless times, and there are at least 27 unanswered messages right now. What did I do wrong? All I thought she wanted was a little fun after a party and I gave it to her. It was no big deal. How do I get rid of her now? -- Hounded to Death, Downtown

Dear Hounded: You can't just ignore her and hope she'll go away. Write her back, like the gentleman you hope to be one day, and say: "I'm sorry to give you the wrong impression. I thought you and I were just going to have fun and that was it. I'm not really interested in pursuing a relationship or friendship with anyone at this time. I'm sorry, but I won't be writing or calling back, so please stop trying to contact me." If that doesn't work, block her so calls and texts won't come through at all.

As for the "casual" sex, a lot of people fake that that's all they want. Plow your sexual energies into dazzling a girl you actually like and forming a great relationship where sex is a natural part of it.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 1, 2014 G4

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