DEAR Miss Lonelyhearts: I am dating a drama queen and I’m on the brink. If you’re dating someone who freaks out on you in public — like yelling and screaming — should you break up with them? What if it’s only happened a couple of times? Most of the time when my girlfriend would get mad at me it would be in the privacy of my apartment.
Even then, once I had to ask her to keep her voice down so the neighbours wouldn’t hear. I know it’s normal for couples to get into fights, but I find the way she deals with our disagreements upsetting and draining. It’s usually because she’s jealous of my platonic girlfriends and spending any time away from her. Am I being unreasonable? Is this the way it is between people once they’ve made a commitment? — Confused Nice Guy, St. Vital.
Dear Confused: First, the normalcy check. No, it's not normal for adults in this culture to yell at home, unless they're screaming with delight. Nor is it normal to roar at someone in public unless you're at a sports game. You're not being unreasonable. Nice guys, more than the bad boys in the world, need to learn standards. So here are some for you to uphold: 1) If a woman raises her voice to you in a restaurant, pay the waiter and leave; 2) If she is screaming at you in your apartment, don't ask her to lower her voice while you dance around anxiously: pick up her coat, hand it to her and hold the door wide open, saying firmly, "It's time for you to leave." The neighbours will silently applaud from behind their doors. You never lose your apartment over a badly behaved date. Most important is rule No. 3.: If she slaps or whacks you with something any time, anywhere, pick up a phone and say, "That's assault. Get out of here before I call 911, because I will do it."
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don't want my kids to know I'm online dating, but when I don't put a picture up, no one contacts me. The difference is astounding. Some people just shop the photos to see if there's a physical attraction before they read any profiles. I know an ad with a nice photo is the best way to get out there and find somebody and I don't want to give up the quest for new love. I've been lonely the last few years since the divorce and I'm ready for romance. What do I do? -- Chicken Mom, Winnipeg
Dear Chicken Mom: Even 10 years ago, online dating wasn't as acceptable, but, these days it's considered normal. Not only does net romance have a high success rate, but it's popular with all age groups, from teens to seniors. If you put up a picture and your kids see it, then deal with it as casually as if they saw you talking on the phone with someone you'd met in a coffee shop. It's time everyone got over the stigma, so stop acting guilty about it. Your attitude leads the way with kids. Looking for love is never a shameful activity, unless you're married and sneaking. Besides, if the kids find you on an adult online personal site, maybe it's time you asked THEM some questions about the age group they're shopping for.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6