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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Find legal pursuits to thrill you

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 06/7/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend has been in and out of jail, and so have I. We have made a pledge to each other not to let this happen again. But, here's my secret. Life is a little boring on the straight and narrow, and money doesn't come in very fast. I can't do anymore boosting, which gives me a thrill, as I've been caught too many times. Turning tricks is out because I'm devoted to my boyfriend. I love him so much! I got into gambling for awhile, but my boyfriend used to have an addiction to that, so he asked me to stop. I don't know what the rest of the world does for thrills, but I need them and so does he. -- Straight and Bored

Dear Bored: You need adrenalin rushes, but the only way you've known it, is through risking being caught at something illegal or risking losing or winning your money on gambling machines or tables. What you're missing in your life is challenge. You need a job with daily deadlines, or a medical job where there are life or death situations. Performing for audiences -- singing, dancing, or speaking -- is challenging/nerve-wracking. Adventure sports like hiking, diving, climbing or driving race cars will give you the same feeling. If people don't want to hire you for interesting work because of your past, you may need to start a business, and a legal business can be an exciting do-or-die challenge. Risky sports or martial arts, with competition and a danger factor, could give you the thrills you need. There's nothing exciting about sitting in jail, away from your lover, waiting to get out.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Three nights ago, I screwed up my love life, maybe for good. I got really mad at my girlfriend, went out with some people and got drunk and publicly went after a girl and took her home where I have two roommates, and had sex with her. Someone must have phoned my girlfriend because she drove over and put her engagement ring in its velvet box in the mailbox. I am now officially single again. She is the one I love. I can't even remember the sex with the other girl, because I was so drunk. I tried to explain that important fact to her on the phone and she cut me off and she said, "That's even more disgusting. You broke us up over sex you can't remember with a stranger." Today I tried to talk to her mom, who used to like me, so she might talk to her daughter and soften her up, but the mother says she heard what I did, and she doesn't want me to come near her daughter anymore. I need my girlfriend back somehow. How can I get her back? -- Life's Over at 25. Transcona

Dear Over at 25: Well, you may have blown this relationship for good, but life is hardly over. This wasn't a total accident, you know. You risked losing this relationship, so it's possible you weren't sure you really wanted the girl or perhaps a marriage at 25. People are careless with things they don't value or things they are ambivalent about. They may not consciously want to break up the relationship, but they take the chance. If you were crazy about this woman, and dying to get married to her, you wouldn't have slammed off and gotten drunk and made out with someone else. Rather than letting anger and ambivalence dictate what happens in your life after this, get some relationship counselling and get to know yourself. Also learn how to work with your anger in different ways and how to fight fairly. She may want you down the track, if you've changed and matured and are ready for a serious relationship, but don't bank on it.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 7, 2012 D5

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