DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a guy at the Winnipeg Folk Festival and we hit it off and spent two days and nights together. The sex in his tent was magic. Now we are back in the city a few weeks and he doesn't answer my texts, so I decided to go call on him. He lives in an old apartment in Osborne Village and there's no back-door security. I took the fire escape stairs and banged on the door.
He comes to the door in his undershorts and looks shocked to see me. He opened the door just a crack and said, "Go away!" Then this girl came out behind him in the kitchen and asked who was there. She pushed her way in front of him, and yelled, "Who the hell are you? I'm his wife!"
I backed off so fast I almost fell over the fire escape. I ran down the stairs. I could still hear her screaming at him. How was I to know he was married? He's so young (early 20s), and no wedding ring. And besides, he was staying in the campground with some buddies. What now? -- Shocked Girl, Fort Rouge
Dear Shocked: Now, nothing! No cellphone calls, no emails, no Facebook messages. Your sympathies should be with the young wife. How would you feel if you were in her place? Her young husband went to the folk fest without her, pretended to be single, and had a wild thing with you. She must have been at home working.
Leave them alone to sort out this mess, if they can. It's not your fault that you thought he was single, but it's pretty bold of you to go banging on a guy's door if he's not been returning your calls. You wanted answers, and you got them.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My heart just got stomped on by a girl I fell in love with just before our high school graduation. She got a summer job at a resort and sent me a Dear John email this morning. She says she thinks she has found "the love of her life," and knows I'll be disappointed but "ultimately hopes I'll find someone else I love and be happy" and we can be "friends."
Right! Like she just met him yesterday. I've been down here in the city working and missing her and being true to her. I sent her off a too-fast response and called her a few names; OK, really bad names. I can't get the email back.
She wrote back just now with a nasty reply of her own where she tore me to shreds. I should have known she had it in her because she could tear other people a new one if they crossed her. Now we are both angry and bleeding. My good sense says we're even and to leave it alone, but I feel awful and I have been crying, although she will never know that. Please help. -- Blew off My Mouth, St. Vital
Dear Blew Off: Your good sense is off the mark. You should actually send one last letter with "Sorry" in the subject line so she'll at least open it. Apologize for starting the verbal slugfest, that you had been crazy about her, and it hurt so much when she dumped you that you lost it. Say you didn't mean the ugly words at all, and ask for forgiveness.
Whether she writes back or not, you can rest easier knowing you apologized and tried to neutralize the nasty things you said. In all likelihood she will simmer down and it's a 50-50 you'll get a short reply. That's not an invitation to write back.
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