Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Get out of heartbreaking threesome

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm in a threesome -- not the kinky kind -- the plain old cheating kind. My fiancé has been seeing someone else on a regular basis for three months. They are "just friends" but I'm never included when they go out. In fact, I've never met her, but I do know she's very pretty, smart and successful. When I ask what's going on, he gets angry and asks me if I want to break up, like he wants to, but he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He likes regular sex (with me) until she comes back to town. My friends have seen them together and it's not a "just friends" circumstance. My family now has some doubts, so keeping things quiet is over. But, I love him and hate to give up. -- Heartsick Gal, Winnipeg

Dear Heartsick: It may be a hard habit to break for you, but the love in your relationship is already gone on his side. What's left for him is sex with you when his new interest is not available. She knows it's a cheating situation and feels superior to you. Because she signed on to cheat with him, and you're busy trying to look the other way, he's enjoying sex from two women at once and getting away with it. You can be sure he's giving her a bunch of excuses, too, so she's also living on a diet of gobbledygook. The only point that matters is he doesn't love you or respect you anymore, so it's time to depart. Your relationship is headed downhill on a wobbly three-legged table. When you can't make the move away from a cheater, you need to see a counsellor to build up enough backbone to do it. Money is no excuse. Free afternoon and early evening drop-in counselling can be found through Klinic offices (call 204-784-4067 for hours) at 545 Broadway and 845 Regent Ave. West.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can't believe your answer to Broken Ankle! Yes, she can use crutches, but to expect her to be as active as before is wildly unreasonable. I'm not saying she should park herself on the sofa forever, but it's her husband's job to pick up the slack. Even if he were allergic to the kitchen -- which of course he's not -- he can't bring her to the restaurant? He can't bring home take-out? This is why people marry, so they're not alone when difficulties arise. I can't blame her for not wanting sex. Where is his love, compassion, and interest? If I were her, I'd be planning my divorce. This is a marriage in name only, and it's turned rank. -- Shocked, Out of Town

Dear Shocked: This woman was not looking for divorce. She was looking for an excuse to stay in the apartment and have her husband wait on her for months, while she discontinues the love and intimacy side of the relationship. A broken ankle does not require staying home from work, stopping all cooking and going out to have fun with friends, though you can forget dancing. It is not the end of sex either, though you have to be a tad inventive. Many people end up with a walking boot cast which works very well. I know this to be true. I have broken my right ankle twice. Yes, negotiating on crutches is annoying under the arms, but you can add padding and get quite adept at using them. The moulded boot is the next best thing to total freedom, allowing a person to walk without crutches.

 

Please send questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 12, 2013 D6

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