DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was out for dinner on Corydon Avenue last night with some girlfriends when what do I see but my former best friend having a romantic dinner with my ex-husband! They were hand-holding, eye-gazing, the whole bit. I walked over and said sarcastically, "How lovely for you two! How long has this been going on?" Then I reached down, grabbed their water glasses and dumped them over their heads. I left as the server came running and phoned my girlfriends from the car to pay my bill. I am still seething. That witch has been conspicuously absent from my life over the last six months, but up to that time, she listened to everything that was going wrong with my husband. How do I get to the bottom of this? -- Obsessed, River Heights
Dear Obsessed: Instead of going to confidential counselling, you confessed the sad details of your marital problems to a woman who liked your guy and thought she could do a better job herself. Now you've seen them together, you want to know the extent to which you were played the fool, but you aren't likely to find out unless one of your other girlfriends blabs. Believe me, someone knows.
Now here's the deal: Men and women have two different ideas about when a marriage is over. A woman tends to think the marriage is finished when the two partners agree to break up, but a lot of men think the marriage is over when all you do is fight and you don't have sex anymore. Right now, the best you can do is try to find a sister, cousin or girlfriend who isn't scared to tell you the truth. And next time you have confidential problems, please take them to a counsellor who will keep your secrets and has the skills to help you solve the problems.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found out the guy I'm seeing is stealing from me. A few small things are gone and I know for sure he has my highly unusual watch I bought in Las Vegas, as my brother saw it on him at a game. (I am also a man, by the way.) Should I try to steal it back? I just want my watch back really badly and then I will dump him on his head. -- Want My Watch Back! Winnipeg
Dear Want My Watch: The best way to get into his house for a search is to give him some money to go to the store to get mix for drinks and say you're creating "a scene" for him when he gets home. Then have a fast look for your stuff, not worrying about the mess, and leave with or without it. When he gets home, call and say you were really looking for your watch and other things that have gone missing since you started seeing him. Then say, "Give me my things back or I will call the police. Leave them in your mailbox or at the front desk where you work and then email or text me to come get them. You have 24 hours." It goes without saying you can't afford to see this guy in person anymore, for anything.
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