Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I've been living in my parents' basement for almost 10 years. Today I found a rude note pinned to the door saying: "You have one month to move out, son. Love, Mom and Dad." I haven't been any trouble to them and I'm only 28. I moved out when I was 18 and moved back six months later because it was too soon, I never had any money to spend and I hated my roommates. And they only gave me one month's warning time. Where am I supposed to get a new place in a month?
I realize I have had a full-time job for four years now and they want to use the basement for themselves -- they're always complaining -- but why are they asking me to get out all of the sudden? I don't have a girlfriend and most Italian kids I know don't have to move out until they get married. -- Turfed for No Reason, West End
Dear Turfed: It's not "all of a sudden" and you're no kid. Your parents didn't hold you back when you left at 18, so they're not old-fashioned Italian people. You came back the same year, and that may be understandable, but no one thought you'd stay 10 years! Unfortunately, your maturation process stalled out once you were back in the nest. It's been an easy life and you never learned to fly. For instance, you don't mention paying any rent or one-third of the household bills or having important relationships that actually led to something like living together, marriage or at least having your own private place.
Failure to launch is a big problem in the western world, and failure to have a responsible but exciting adult life is the serious problem that goes with it. You need to leave ASAP without whining and sniffing, get your own apartment or suite in a house with your own money and become attractive to woman your age. There are other stages in life -- many fun and enjoyable -- and you're missing out on them. Getting kicked out is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There's a female ghost living in my new house that I never expected because this house is only from the SSRq50s. I can sometimes see a wispy essence in the hallways if I get up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I hear crying and it is her, I think, or I hear laughing. I know someone died here years ago. Could it be the ghost? How do I address this? I am not a silly person and don't want to be perceived that way. Should I look up her relatives, or is that too bold? I know their last name and it's uncommon. This ghost, if that's what she is, has made me very uncomfortable in my own home. -- Unsure What To Do, South Winnipeg
Dear Unsure: You could ask about the background of the house from some of the older neighbours, as they will know lots of things you don't suspect and will probably enjoy chatting about it. You will at least learn the first names of the people who lived in the house and that could lead you to a news story, if there was one, about the death. As for removing the ghost, there are psychics in the city who claim to be able to do that, and some people say all you need to do is suggest to the ghost that he or she depart in peace; it is your home, and you will look after the house now.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.