Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/8/2013 (991 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 19 and have been locked up for 18 months now. I have a beautiful girlfriend and I really love her, but I don't trust her anymore. She means so much to me that I left the gang life to be with her. I'm not trying to be selfish here. She says she's going to wait for me, but I'm thinking she's just saying that. One day I called her cell and a guy picked up and said, "Sorry, she found a new horse. Bye-bye." What should I do? Do I need help? -- Rougher, Headingley
Dear Rougher: Imagine you were a new guy trying to move in on a lady whose boyfriend was in jail. You hear her phone ring and she's out of the room. It's not hard to pick up somebody's cell and talk. This may have been a new boyfriend, or she may be true to you and he's just a wannabe hanging around her. Your best bet is to talk to her about plans for your release, since I see by your letter and your jail location you won't be locked up much longer. What you need to keep this girl interested is a strategy to get a job and plans to do specific things when you're out. But if you waste time being angry and jealous, you can easily lose the competition with people on the outside. If you haven't talked to her about this guy answering the phone, do so gently. What you're imagining may be far worse than reality. Either way, you have to know. If there's doubt, go with her story, as it keeps your spirits up in jail and you need that. You can deal with the rest later.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I agree Upset in St. James should see his former fiancée. I had a boyfriend with whom I broke up with in my early 20s because he cheated on me. I loved him dearly and thought about him every day for the next 20 years, even through two marriages. Recently, both single, we started seeing each other again and then I ended it. It was fun, but it made me see we were not meant to be together and I no longer pine for him nor do I have any unanswered questions or regrets. -- Been There, Glad I Did That
Dear Glad: If memories, dreams and longing follow you through life from a lost romance, and there's a chance to resolve those feelings, it's worth a second try. In your case, it didn't work out, but you now have peace. In some cases, young people were simply parted by circumstances, such as going to university in different cities or families moving cross country. Facebook is bringing lots of former loves back together, though often just as friends, and that's both good and bad. For some, a re-meet can destabilize a marriage that's working. For former sweethearts who find themselves single at the same time, it can be a second chance at a real romance. Some of the loves we had as younger people sprang from a purer, stronger source as we'd not yet been disillusioned by any breakups.