Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

He clearly likes to test his power with people

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went out with this doctor on a date he suggested to a very fancy restaurant. He showed up in clothes that were way below appropriate for the date. He wore jeans with his shirt undone down past his brown chest hair. "Let it all hang out" seemed to be his motto. I was all dressed up in a cocktail dress I bought for the date and high heels. It just seemed so unclassy and disrespectful of him. I was embarrassed. He caught me staring at his chest and he smiled and said, "Like what you see?" I almost laughed in his face, he thought he was so hot. I decided I'd hang in there for the dinner and see where this would go. He was a good conversationalist and he paid for dinner with no problem. Am I being too fussy expecting appropriate clothing? Should I see him again? Men aren't that easy to find when you're 57. -- Single Too Long, Tuxedo

Dear Single Too Long: This man flouts the rules of society and he wants you and the restaurant to know that. Why? Because he can. He knows he has the money and the prestige to get away with being nonconformist, like a movie star pushing his way into a gala event in jeans. Why would you want to be with this type of person -- a guy who tests his power with people? If this guy had no status, and hadn't suggested an expensive restaurant, would you even consider seeing him again? Some women would get a little kick out of this bohemian holdout in a button-down world. Others, like yourself, will feel disgusted, but put up with it to have a gourmet dinner date, thinking you're too old to be fussy and there aren't enough men to go around. That idea is pass©, as statistics show that more than 50 per cent of marriages fall apart, and many people date over a 10-15 year age spectrum as they get older.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is a great musician and he's got a big future ahead of him if he continues to pursue music. I am a serious-minded science student who wants to be a dentist, doctor or researcher. We are both 20. Last night I asked him where he wanted to be in the next 10 years and he said, very matter-of-factly, "On the road travelling with my band, which is already famous." I said, "Oh, and what about me?" and he shrugged and said, "You can come with me if you like." I just had a slow, sinking feeling. I am not planning to leave this province. I love my family and my life here in Winnipeg. What now? Hope he fails and has to stay here? Or should I bail now? -- Worried Sick

Dear Worried: It's very early to bail. Anything can happen, good or bad, for both of you. Young people should be able to dream big and be supported by their sweethearts. What if your guy said he was afraid you'd become a scientist and become obsessed with your projects, and not be with him enough? It's just premature to worry about any of this. If he ever has a hit song that goes viral and gets a contract with a music company, and the opportunity to go on the road, then you can start worrying. Encourage him now, and enjoy his return support for your dreams.

 

Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 28, 2013 D4

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