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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Help me, Miss L, I'm hot for teacher
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: One of my Grade 12 teachers is single, gorgeous, and going to be trouble for me. I'm already so sexually attracted to her I look for reasons to disagree with her. Yesterday, I stayed after school to argue a point with her and it was bogus. I just wanted to be close to her. She smells great, she looks great, she's smart and I can't help how I feel about her. I'm a few years younger than she is (maybe seven) but I can't have her. I know that. So how do I get through a whole year of this? Even if I could switch classes I wouldn't, because I want to be near her. -- Rock and a Hard Place, Winnipeg
Dear Rock: Sometimes impossible crushes fizzle out and sometimes they grow. Let's hope this one fizzles. You can distinguish yourself from the rest of the class by being the best student and interested in the teacher's subject area, and then hope to run into her again when you're a few years into university. That's about the best you can do, unless someone out there in Readerland has a better idea. Please write if you do, and help this fellow!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too fast when I was on first date and got a bad case of the unladylike burps. I belched through the whole date and it was so embarrassing. We went to the movies after the pizza and it was even worse. I excused myself at one point and went to the bathroom to try to throw up, but unlike the skinny girls, I'm not good at that kind of thing. I apologized to the guy many times and he made a little joke about it but he has not called again. I really liked him. Should I call him? --The Belcher
Dear Belcher: Your embarrassment and repeated apologizing on that night made things feel uncomfortable for him. Send him a funny online note -- not another apology -- and let him know your belching days are over. Give him a playful message he can react to, and then YOU ask him out to game or a concert -- not a dinner. Tell him you have two tickets and you'd like to treat him. That could put thing back on an even keel, if he liked you. Don't mention the burping incident again, unless he brings it up. Then you say unapologetically that it happens once in awhile to everyone, to show him you're cool and accepting of your own human foibles and his.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I was having a swim up at the lake when this man, who was submerged up to his silly neck, started to talk to me. I wasn't responding. Finally he said, "Don't you recognize me? It's so-and so from high school." He looked like his old dad! He was obviously annoyed I didn't know him, but all I saw was his bald head, What do you say to people who are annoyed you don't know them immediately, and they've gotten old? -- Can't Remember Everybody, Selkirk, Mb.
Dear Can't Remember: You just say: "We have all changed over the years and I haven't seen you for a long time." He can make of that what he will. It isn't sweetly apologetic and it isn't nasty, but it will stop him from being indignant. He is looking for an apology, but all you owe him is a brief "Sorry." Smart people learn to introduce themselves immediately and eliminate these scenes.
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 21, 2012 D10
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Today's horoscope
1:00 AM 0MOON ALERT We have the all clear today to do business and make important decisions. The moon is in Scorpio.
ARIES ...
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