Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 1/4/2014 (909 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took my girlfriend to a karaoke bar and sang to her from the stage. It was a foolish thing to do. She didn't like the public nature of it and she didn't care for the way I sounded (I know I don't have a great voice). She was totally embarrassed. She said I looked like an idiot up there! Ouch -- it was very harsh. It took us three weeks to get back to a good place with each other again.
I don't really know what I did that was so wrong. I just wanted to show her my love. It hurts me that she reacted that way. She says she loves me, but never to do anything that stupid again. What do you think? -- Singing Loser, Elwood
Dear Singing: She may say she loves you, but she doesn't love the impulsive and demonstrative side of you, the side another woman might find the most special. Reconsider engaging in anything long term with this woman who called you down for being sweet. She was embarrassed because she's not totally in love with you. Think how much more fun it would be to have a woman who would go to karaoke with you and get up and sing back to you.
You can find a quiet woman to enjoy the sensible side of you easily, why not go the extra mile and search for a woman who is fun and enjoys the outgoing, entertaining side of you as well?
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Seven years ago I broke up with the love of my life because I heard she cheated on me. I was immediately sorry, but I couldn't do anything to change her mind, even though I said I forgave her. She knew she was innocent and she hated me for doubting her. I know I can never have her back. She is married to a guy who looks a lot like me and is in the same profession.
I just want other hotheads out there who think they're with a woman they don't deserve (the hidden reason I pushed her away, a shrink told me) not to go off half-cocked over rumours. I got the rumour from my best friend, who I trusted more than her. Strangely, he started chasing her after I dumped her. She didn't want him.
When he was drunk at a Jets game recently, he came up to me and confessed he made the whole story up because he wanted her so badly. He said the lie has eaten him up and that's why he stopped being my friend. So, for all you insecure fools out there, listen to me: go get your head on straight -- see a psychologist -- before you accuse a wonderful innocent woman who loves you of something she didn't do. -- Fool Who Learned Too Late, Winnipeg
Dear Fool: Now that you have taken care of your insecurities, it's time you do what your ex-lady friend did: find another person who is very much like her and get on with it. Seven years is a long time to look backwards. Let this experience with your former buddy be the end of this era. You were so insecure in those days you probably would have driven that young woman away at some point anyway. Now you know better, and you will never again be such a fool. Let it go!
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