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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Hey, Prince Charming... stop marrying everyone you sleep with!
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hate ruddy asparagus and my wife knows it. She serves it twice a week because she likes it herself, no other vegetable for me. This is petty but it's typical of our relationship now that the honeymoon is over. So totally over! She makes noise and wakes me up when she comes in late from work. She bought a horrible little dog without even consulting me on how I felt, and now she ignores it. And, she really let herself go. She's gotten ugly. When I met her, she was no beauty but she dressed up and prettied up. Now she's 60 pounds fatter and she looks like a rhino. She's my third wife and I thought I was getting better taste than I had before when I only married beautiful women. I don't know where I'm going wrong but I hate to get divorced a third time and split the money, and there's a fair bit of it. We both had kids by our first spouses and that's not an issue. I feel like walking, but I'll look like a real loser. There's no love lost. She doesn't love me, either, and my grown kids despise her as a money-grubber. -- No Taste in Women, age 51, Wpg.
Dear No Taste: What's the difference between three bum marriages and four? You already have the reputation of changing partners frequently. If you're no longer attracted and you don't have the desire to please each other, and there are no kids to hurt, call it a day! Your kids will be relieved and so will you. Then, for goodness sake, stop marrying everyone you sleep with. If you do remarry a fourth time, without working on yourself and improving your taste, get a big pre-nup happening.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a certain married woman I know park her car in my garage. She doesn't live in this apartment block, and she took the spot a certain single man I know parks his car. Why was she hiding her car, carrying wine, wearing stiletto heels? Hmmm. Hanky panky, I'd guess! We rode up the elevator together and my eyes were amused, I guess, because she turned and gave me a look, before she got out. I hadn't said a word except hello. I don't intend to get her into any trouble and I have seen her twice since. There is always dead silence in the elevator as we go up. Should I say something like "Your secret's safe with me." She must be worried I'm going to tell on her or gossip to someone. I'm not. I'm just amused and I'm no angel myself. -- Not her Enemy, Downtown.
Dear Not her Enemy: It you're not going to tell on her, then stop smirking and then keeping silent like you disapprove and can't think of a friendly word to say to her. Chat with her about the weather and show her you're not her enemy. She knows what she's doing.
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 9, 2012 G3
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