Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Hey, Sultan... don't be a slave to roles; submit to reversal

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met my latest passion at a fetish ball and things were going great until she switched fetishes. Now she wants to be the topper and I'm not so willing to be anyone's love slave. She says she's going through an experimental period because she's young and wants to be "versatile." To heck with versatile. I just want to be her sultan and she can keep belly-dancing for me, serving me drinks and pleasing me. I love this. Why would I want to change when I've got it made? -- Her Sultan, Winnipeg

Dear Sultan: The submissive's power is in saying no and stopping the whole scene at any time. You should be aware you're perilously close to the tent flap right now. Since you've been warned, be a good sport and give the love-slave role a real try. Your girlfriend may be curious, but people with a submissive tendency tend to find dominance a little too much "work" after a short while. They quickly get tired of coming up with all the ideas for scenes and leading the way. Think about it in the long run. If you refuse to hand over the rein of control for a time, you may find the tent folded up and your lady gone -- poof!


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am a single gay man in his mid-40s dealing with loneliness. It has been very difficult for me trying to find that special someone. It has been a long road coming to terms with who I am and dealing with rejection from others. I don't have a lot of friends and have relied upon my family for support. I've always had a difficult time meeting and making friends. I'm worried I'm getting too old and "late to the party" with no good, honest guy left who'd love and accept me.

I've spent many years making sure I got a good education and job, but fell short in my personal life. I've have always had to do many things on my own socially, which can be very hard and lonely. Counselling met with limited success. I've tried courses, gym, groups, bars and Internet dating sites with no luck. I tend to feel disappointed with myself and have cried many times, feeling lonely and lost. I'm not sure what to do now as I have exhausted so many avenues and feel like giving up. -- Lonely, Winnipeg

Dear Lonely: Is it correct to assume you are a shy person with a fair amount of self-knowledge? Let's go at this from another angle: what would you say are the stumbling blocks for you socially, not just as a gay man? Do you find it hard to break the ice, or are you OK with small talk, but choke up when it's time to really get to know someone one on one? Are you able to ask someone out for dinner? Can you cook and entertain at home for someone on a date? Do you have your own place or do you still live with family? What are your hobbies and interests? We need a list. Write back with answers to these questions and I can be of much more help with specifics and a plan.


Please send your questions or comments c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 18, 2014 G4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Lawless in the Morning: Former NHLer Jeff O'Neill, Montreal Canadiens and help for the Jets

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A mother goose has chosen a rather busy spot to nest her eggs- in the parking lot of St Vital Centre on a boulevard. Countless cars buzz by and people have begun to bring it food.-Goose Challenge Day 06 - May 08, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Marc Gallant/Winnipeg Free Press. Local- Peregrine Falcon Recovery Project. Baby peregrine falcons. 21 days old. Three baby falcons. Born on ledge on roof of Radisson hotel on Portage Avenue. Project Coordinator Tracy Maconachie said that these are third generation falcons to call the hotel home. Maconachie banded the legs of the birds for future identification as seen on this adult bird swooping just metres above. June 16, 2004.

View More Gallery Photos


Will the closure of Future Shop affect your shopping?

View Results

Ads by Google