Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

His affair makes things better at home

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband is crazy in a fun way, but only when he's in the mood for it. When he's not, the kids and I nervously watch for the signs: he can change into a man with a nasty temper we hardly recognize. Now all of sudden something strange has happened. He is pleasant and good-tempered every day. He dresses up for work and is eager to do a good job. He stays late to do extra projects.

I am no fool. I know he may be seeing a woman as his new project. I know this sounds strange, but if he has a girlfriend, I don't care, if it makes our lives safer. I've been on eggshells for years with him and the kids have too. Now he couldn't be nicer to us. Should I rock the boat because it seems he may be playing around? This part confuses me, though -- we have sex more now and he seems to be better at it. Why would he want more sex with me? What should I do? -- So Mixed Up, Transcona

Dear Mixed Up: Maybe, in this unique case, you go with the flow for a while. You don't need anyone's moral stamp of approval. If you're finally relaxed and enjoying life, who's to say what's right? Is there a chance your husband is bipolar and has finally seen his doctor and gotten medication for his up and down moods? Or is he in the first stages of being madly in lust or love with someone? In that case, his libido may be higher and he can satisfy more than one women. Sorry, but that's how it often goes.

If you are going to experiment with a quasi-open marriage, you should drum up an excuse to use barrier protection like a condom with him -- for instance, a stubborn vaginal infection that won't go away. At least protect yourself from a sexually transmitted infection.

By the way, do you have a job? If you don't, it's a good idea to get a full-time one and build up some savings, since this marriage might come to an end. There's nothing like financial security when there are children in the mix who need to be fed, clothed and supported when their parents split.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read your reply to Jailhouse Love. I was surprised and a little disappointed you didn't strongly urge this woman not to have any children with this man. I'm all for people having second chances and rebuilding their lives, but she said that jail has become "routine" for them, and the boyfriend is still involved in gangs. Under no circumstances should any innocent children be brought into this situation (let alone 15 as the writer claims the boyfriend wants). They both need to get their lives under control before she even considers getting pregnant again and that seems like a tall order given their past. -- Not Getting My Vote as Parents, Winnipeg

Dear Not Getting: You are absolutely right. Babies should not be used to try to cause a reluctant person to buy into a relationship. If these two are going to continue to spin in and out of jailhouse doors, it would be tragic for a child. Some women try to solidify bonds by giving a man babies and this woman has the mistaken idea she might tame him by producing "his first child" of 15. Pifflebunk.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please tell Facelift or What that there are skin oils and supplements that can help reduce wrinkles dramatically. He can go to a health food store and the staff can point him in the right direction. And it will cost way less than lasers or surgery. Good luck to him! -- Au Natural, Winnipeg

Dear Au Natural: Independent researchers say a person might as well buy inexpensive oils and creams because most promises made by the moisturizing-cream industry can be fulfilled just as well by using petroleum jelly or a cheap moisturizer every day. But if a person wants something more dramatic, like getting rid of the bags above and below the eyes, no cream in the world is doing that yet. A laser can be more helpful and old-fashioned nip-and-tuck surgery will send the bags packing quickly.

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 24, 2014 G4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Reimagining Winnipeg as the big city of the future

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A nesting goose sits on the roof of GoodLife Fitness at 143 Nature Way near Kenaston as the morning sun comes up Wednesday morning- See Bryksa’s Goose a Day Photo- Day 07- Web crop-May 09, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • A baby Red Panda in her area at the Zoo. International Red Panda Day is Saturday September 15th and the Assiniboine Park Zoo will be celebrating in a big way! The Zoo is home to three red pandas - Rufus, Rouge and their cub who was born on June 30 of this year. The female cub has yet to be named and the Assiniboine Park Zoo is asking the community to help. September 14, 2012  BORIS MINKEVICH / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do you think Judy Wasylycia-Leis will greatly benefit from the endorsement by Winnipeg's firefighters?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google