Dear Miss Lonleyhearts: I just met a sweet guy on an airplane and we had so much fun together, we actually kissed each other goodbye. What a kiss! It went on and on. Neither of us are married, but he lives in South America and I live here in Manitoba. What, if anything, can we do now? -- Missing Him, East Kildonan
Dear Missing Him: Enjoy the memory of that kiss and the things you chatted about on the plane -- where people seem to express themselves more freely. That'd be the best end result. Doesn't seem like much, does it? But,trying to make something out of a few hours of flight experience when this guy lives on another continent is too much work for too little reward. If you like to be held and kissed and hugged and made love to, this man doesn't have long enough arms or legs to stretch across the miles. But, if you both want each other, there's always the Internet, and trips -- and some people have gotten together and made it work.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend went cold as ice when I got sick. I had the flu a couple of weeks ago and he ignored me, except to throw me clean bedding and magazines and to run out of the kitchen if I went in there to make myself food and drinks.
He brought me nothing, not one Kleenex! He said nothing comforting, absolutely no sympathy. He just stayed out of my way. And how did he justify sleeping on the couch and not talking to me at all? "I know you wouldn't want to make me sick, too," he said. "That would be selfish of you."
Well, antibiotics may have killed the bug in me, but they can't kill the terrible way I feel about him now. This morning I found myself thinking about him and then I got out a big suitcase and started throwing things into it. He said, "What the heck do you think you're doing? We have a lease together!" He didn't say, "I love you, I'm sorry. I've been such a mean jerk." He just mentioned the lease. What should I do? I'm young. I want to go home to my parents. -- Stunned By the Deep Freeze, Westwood
Dear Stunned: You are with a young man who treats you like you're a germ and doesn't help you when you're sick and need his love, attention and help. Fair-weather friends do not make good mates. If he was so afraid of catching what you had -- but still wanted to look after you -- he could have worn a mask but still brought you food, love, conversation and comfort.
Tell him you were stunned and deeply hurt by his coldness when you were ill. Say this: "We have to talk to the landlord and get a sublet." They may already have a lineup for suites and let you out of the lease. Tell your boyfriend he can sign on to take over your half of the lease as well, if he wants to stay. He may want to bring in one of his friends. There are many ways to do this but DO NOT go for a verbal agreement only. See your landlord and everybody involved signs.
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