Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Let cheating granny have her fun, reader says

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I disagree with you about the advice you gave a granddaughter concerning her grandma's affair with the silver-haired gentleman at work. You told her to tell her mom and she doesn't have to drive grandma to work where the lover is anymore. Really, it's not their business, either of them. Your parental advice suggested mom would do something about it. Is grandma senile and naive or someone who's tired of being married to an alcoholic boor who won't help himself? Maybe she needs a little attention from someone who's as lonely as she is. Would you interfere in your mom's relationships? Maybe I'd let my mom know if I knew she was having an affair, and maybe I'd even tell my alcoholic dad, but the reality is MYOB on the grandparents! If the granddaughter stops wanting to give grandma a ride, so be it. -- Live and Let Live, Winnipeg

Dear Live and let Live: If I knew my mom was cheating on my dad, and my daughter was suffering because of it, I'd certainly blow the whistle. That's the rule for people who are close family or friends. You don't stand by while they are being fooled. By the way, you're assuming everybody's middle-aged and sophisticated in this situation, but that's not the case. It's a shock for this young girl to even think about her grandparents having sex, let alone cheating with other people, so the granddaughter should not have to deal with this. That only leaves her mom to say she knows and it's too much for the shocked granddaughter to ferry grandma to work where she fools around with this guy.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is regarding Sensitive to Gawkers. My boyfriend and I are an attractive couple and we are very sexually committed to one another. Sometimes when we are out and about, he does look and I've learned to be OK with it. Why? Because he's with me, he doesn't always look and sometimes I kind of do the same. For example, I can't say the actor's name Jason Statham without having a good smirk on my face. (He's noticed that and brought it up to me.) For us, it took over a year until we became chill about it. Have lots of self-confidence and go with the flow, as long as he's not peeving you by looking every second. Good luck! -- Chilling With It, Winnipeg

Dear Chill: People do look here and there -- it's natural -- but you don't want to be rude or hurtful to the person with you. You don't stare or gawk, but you can discreetly look for a second. So if a guy jogs by you and your man, and you have a little peep, no big deal. But, if you turn back to look at his receding buns, you deserve a comment. "Something catch your eye?" is a sophisticated remark to let someone know you saw them gawking.

 

Please send questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 14, 2013 C4

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