Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Let the memory of your one-night stand die

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went away on a business trip and had a one-night stand for the first time in my life. I'm in my 30s, and he was my second sexual partner. We had some drinks and shared that we were both married, with kids, having married our high school loves. We exchanged contact information, but I assumed he wouldn't contact me again. I came home, not even really thinking about what happened. What has me perplexed and thinking about him like crazy, is that he contacted me a few days later after I arrived home and we had the best conversation. He then emailed me the next day telling me he arrived home safely, but he never contacted me again after I replied to his email. I was fine walking away that night and never hearing from him again, but the fact that he initiated contact and then stopped is driving me crazy! I want to know why he didn't reply. Can I contact him and ask why? I feel like I need closure. -- Can't Tell a Soul, Winnipeg

Dear Can't Tell: He contacted you afterwards, instead of treating you like a total one-night stand, but now he's back home and back in his marriage. It's over; it was an interlude, with pleasantries afterwards. There's no need for re-contacting him for "closure." Let the memory die; don't cultivate it. This fling didn't look like it was going to break your marriage to your childhood sweetheart, and it hopefully satisfied your curiosity about other men. But, if you continue to play at this, it can destroy your home. Consider talking this out privately with a counsellor. In previous years, my advice might have been to come clean with your mate about this fling, but so many marriages are hitting the skids and so many children are suffering, it isn't worth it -- if you aren't going to do this again. Hopefully, this proves to you that flings have the potential to cause bigger trouble than you guessed.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I've fallen in love with my teenager's teacher over the school year. My son is difficult and we've had to have many talks about him, which has led to a feeling -- at least from my side -- of closeness and intimacy. We have both talked about our own family backgrounds and the chats go on an hour or so past talking about my child. The end of June will soon be here, and I fear a long, lonely summer without seeing this teacher. This man is single -- only eight years younger than I am -- and doesn't mention anyone in his life, so I might have a chance with him. My son may not be in any of his classes next September. I tried to talk him into taking one of them, but he didn't want to. I think he may be onto us. Please help. -- Upset Mom, Winnipeg

Dear Mom: There is no "us." This male teacher is not showing interest in seeing you outside of talking at school. He may think of you as a kind of friend to do with his working world. For all you know, he has a love interest -- male or female -- he's not talking about because it wouldn't be appropriate. It's strange he's chatting with you way after the meeting over your son is finished, I'll give you that. But, there is a grey area of relationships that can happen through work channels, that feels more intimate than casual friendship. This often happens when people see clients or customers repeatedly for deep discussions. Some of these intimate friendships go on for years and never progress to a sexual level. Others do. In your case, this crush problem at your son's school isn't all about you and your feelings. If your child is already having difficulties at school, why would you chase after his teacher? That would only mess him up further.

 

Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 3, 2013 C8

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Trucks power through flooded underpass at Main St and Higgins

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • Jia Ping Lu practices tai chi in Assiniboine Park at the duck pond Thursday morning under the eye of a Canada goose  - See Bryksa 30 Day goose challenge Day 13- May 17, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Young goslings jostle for position to take a drink from a puddle in Brookside Cemetery Thursday morning- Day 23– June 14, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

What do you think of Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s comment that Tina Fontaine’s slaying was a crime, and not part of a larger sociological problem?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google