DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was flirting with this cute guy online, who said he wanted to "walk or run over" to meet me right away. I agreed to meet him at a busy little dog park near my place. He said it would take 30-40 minutes to get there. I wondered if he was such a loser he didn't even have any money for a bus ticket. I went to the park reluctantly.
He was already sitting there waiting for me, lightly sweating, drop-dead gorgeous and very sexy. He was wearing a black tank top and shorts and expensive runners and said he runs marathons. I told him my misgivings about meeting him, like he probably had no money to take a bus, and that I thought he wouldn't be so hot-looking. It turns out he has a better job than me and a nicer car. He stood up and said, "Looks and money, eh? That's what it's all about? You aren't the kind of person I want to spend time with. Goodbye." Then he ran off in the opposite direction. What's his big problem? Where's his sense of humour? That night he blocked me on Plenty of Fish. -- Tired of Bottom Feeders, Winnipeg
Dear Tired of Bottom Feeders: Who acted like the bottom feeder here? You judged him on the money you thought he did or did not have, and then you were crass enough to tell him. You let him know you were doing him a big favour by even showing up and that you instantly changed your opinion of him when you found out he had a big job, a nice car and a great body. No wonder he ran!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got home from a two-week holiday with my husband and I can't stand the sight of him. I certainly don't want to make a baby with him, which is what he wants. "Could have a bun in the oven already," is what he remarked to his best friend when we were on the way home from the airport. My God!
While we were in Cuba, he kept count of how many times we did "it" by day and week in a little book that turned out to have a code for different sexual activities and times over the last two years. I asked him about it, in a sweet voice (a trap). He calculated we're down on "sex events" 50 per cent on weekdays when we work as compared to weekends, and up 150 per cent on weekends when we're on holiday with nothing to do. What an idiot! I couldn't stand the thought of him keeping accounts of our sex life together, so I threw the book in the garbage barrel and burned it. No more sex. I just hate him right now. -- Disgusted to the Max, St. James
Dear Disgusted: Many couples come home from a holiday hating the sight of each other -- 14 days of 24/7 togetherness is too much for most people. Give this sex issue a few weeks of rest. If you're still disgusted beyond belief, see a counsellor and talk about it. Then invite your husband. Let him know you can't stand being married to a "sex accountant" and you will never take another two-week holiday alone with him. Then it's his turn to vent. He'll have a few things to say about 14 days trapped in "paradise" with you, too.
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