Dear Never Fitter: Congratulations on maintaining such great shape in your late 40s. Many people struggle to make so much time for exercise. As one of those in-shape 20-somethings you're so attracted to, though, I have to warn you that young women aren't fooled so easily. An older man in amazing shape, who is still single, is immediately a red flag. We might find you attractive. We might even sleep with you. But trust me, our spidey senses are tingling when we're with you. We know there's something off about a man who doesn't enjoy the company of a woman his own age. Is it possible you're not mature enough to relate to the in-shape 40-somethings? Have you realized we're going to get older, too? We know that when we start showing our age you'll start looking for a girlfriend upgrade. It's interesting that you think you deserve to be with somebody young and hot because you work out. No doubt these girls you're dating realize they deserve somebody with some substance after only a few dates. -- Hot 20-Something
Dear Hot 20-something: "Why would you want me, and why do I want you?" are the unromantic questions that pop up after the first rush of heat and emotion in most 20s/40s liaisons. Some of those hot relationships cool when they start living out the pros and cons of a big age difference. What 45-year-old man wants to start with new babies? Only a few do. Some of these couples get married and are happy right to the end, especially if the man is healthy, athletic and virile. Having said that, it's a big chance to take, and it's sad thing if a young woman cheats herself out of having children.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been wearing a diamond engagement ring for nine years now and I can't get my live-in to the altar. He says the big ring tells of his "great" love for me. I know people snigger about us and call me Diamond Lil. He has a lot of money. Do you think this is his problem with formal marriage? I can't wait any longer. It is driving me crazy. -- Feeling Used, Winnipeg
Dear Used: Don't beg any more. You're already his common-law wife, so it's probably not be the money issue at all. Take off the diamond ring and make a solid plan to move out, and then do it. You will soon see if he's ready to marry you or not, The time for talking is long over, and the time for acting is now.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6