DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was sitting in my executive office waiting for the day to end when this young woman who worked here for a few months came in to announce she had quit at noon. She sat down in the chair in front of my desk and it appeared she had been out drinking a lot -- no doubt in celebration. Then she said, "Since I won't be working here any longer, there's something I want to do. She came around the desk and said, "Stand up!" I stood up and she put her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately on the lips. Then she said, "I've been wanting to do that since I started working here. Here's my number. Call me!" Then she waltzed out the door. I'm single and somewhat of a nerd. When my secretary came in the door, she said, "Better wipe the red lipstick off your face," and walked out smirking. She's a blabbermouth, listens in on everything, and everyone will know. OK, here's the thing. I really like this girl -- she is fun and intelligent -- and I haven't had a date in a year. Should I call her? -- Unsure About the Politics, St. Boniface
Dear Unsure: By all mean, call this young woman! All the door are swinging wide open in invitation. You don't work with her any more. She came on to you. You like her, and she wants you to call her. Get on the phone tomorrow and give her a call. If you want a real girlfriend, call her when she's had time to think straight, and ask her out for dinner at a cool place. Consider yourself a lucky man and don't blow this chance over office chit-chat. So what if they blab about it at work? She is not longer an employee. Your image is on the upswing since she kissed you with her ruby lips.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When my boyfriend is making out with me and getting really passionate he whispers, "Bite me, bite me!" That makes me giggle because of its other meaning. He doesn't think it's funny. I don't really get what kind of bite he wants. I don't want to hurt him. Does he want me to bite his lips or his neck or his body or what? Why does he want this? -- Not a Vampire, Westwood
Dear Not a Vampire: Ask him! He expects you to be curious and is dying to tell you. Biting is a kind of sexplay you may or may not find fun. Is he looking for nibbles or more? Does he want to bite you back? Your inquiring mind needs to know before you have sex again. It's necessary to discuss edgy sexplay first, so you know before you're deeply into it, if you really want to participate. Find out the parameters and what he experiences from it. How far does he want to go? Warning: If he wants to bite your neck and mark you, run in the other direction. Those are the marks of a possessive man, trying to make you repulsive to others.