DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The next-door neighbours are a bunch of tramps. The three daughters wear heavy makeup with cat's eyes up the sides and bring home guys -- not even the same guys -- for overnight parties while their parents go to the cabin every weekend. And there I am, having to live with it.
Last night, I finally had a few gins and went over there and told them I was going to inform the parents and the police about their disgusting behaviour if they continued. They told me to mind my own $#@%-ing business or they would come over one night and "make my life miserable." Now I'm camped in my house with the curtains down and the lights off at night, terrified I am going to get a visit from their biker boyfriends in the noisy black trucks. Should I call the cops or just shut up? -- Worried Sick, Fort Garry
Dear Worried: Do you really care about the morality of the daughters next door? No! You care about the scary people and action near your house. But they haven't done anything to you and were paying no attention to you until you got into the gin and went over and tried to shame and threaten the girls. They're not going to come after you. Start living your own life again. That fight will have been over for the girls the moment you toddled back to your own house. The burly boyfriends will have even less interest in this little fight, so there's no need to worry yourself.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dog sleeps beside my bed at night. When my boyfriend comes over, we put the dog outside the bedroom door to make love. I am a singer, have a tendency to express myself verbally and have a fairly high voice. This seems to set my dog off, and he howls and whimpers as long as I am making any vocalizations. My old dog also howls at Westminster Church bells and when I play high bits of accompaniment on the piano. I don't mind and find it kinda cute, but it's off-putting when the dog breaks my concentration when he howls outside the bedroom. Last night my upstairs tenant said she was going to move out if I didn't get control of my dog and myself at night. What should I do? I need the money, but I can't help what comes out. -- Expressive Woman, Wolseley
Dear Expressive: Opera singing in the bedroom is mostly choice. People with babies and young children often limit the vocal theatrics so they don't wake the household and have everybody crying. You, too, can control your joyful noise enough that it won't bother the tenant, but the dog has much keener ears. Parked right outside your door, he can hear the change in your breathing as well. He may be reacting to the feeling you're being hurt and need help to deal with the intruder in the bedroom. Move the dog to a room further away, shut that door, plus your bedroom door, and roll towels for the bottom of both doors. Put on music in the bedroom to blend with erotic sounds and both tenant and dog should be happier.
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