Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Nerves likely behind your sexy-time giggles

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Whenever a man starts to make love to me, I get the serious giggles. I am not mocking the men I sleep with, but often they think I am. This has gotten me into a lot of trouble lately. Last weekend I brought home a guy I met at a club for some fun and games. No sooner did we start getting busy, then I got an attack of the giggles. Unlike the rest, who usually wondered "Why me?" he said, "You have a problem, and you should get it fixed, little girl" and walked out. So, what is my problem? -- The Giggler, Weston

Dear Giggler -- Nervousness is the problem. Bringing home strangers makes it worse. If you were in bed with someone you really trusted and cared about, it wouldn't be a big gigglefest. It could be anything from sweet to exciting to seriously sexy. Not that good humour isn't great in bed, but it tends to be deflating if there's too much of it. Is that your underlying aim? How do you feel about one-night stands, really? If your behaviour doesn't jibe with your beliefs about this, you may be feeling off-kilter when you end up at home with a guy you have picked up. Maybe he looked really good when you were in the bar and still having cocktails, but the cold drive home and the awkward, "Well, uh, here we are," can kill deep desire. How about you go on a sex diet? Take some months to experiment with getting to know people. If you meet an attractive guy, give him your number and, if he likes you enough to call, go out with him. Have fun and talk. If the person inside the body turns out to be a guy you like, it's even sexier to go to bed with him. If he turns out to be a jerk, you will know before you shed your clothes and take a chance on his sexual history.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel like an idiot. I answered the phone thinking it was one woman and talked away freely about intimate things only she and I would know, and then found out she was the other woman I'm seeing. She said, "Boy, do you have the wrong number, you idiot!" Now she knows about the other woman -- she easily guessed who it is, and is about to call her. I am soon going to have no one. I tried to talk my way out of the mix-up and she said, "I'm phoning her about you soon -- maybe tonight and maybe a week from now -- and you'll never know when it will be." Help! Don't tell me to go to counselling because I won't. --Worried Idiot, Ft. Richmond

Dear Worried: As the old saw goes, the only thing worse than getting hit is waiting to get hit. In the meantime, you sound like the type who will scramble to try to mend the fence with the one remaining woman. Good luck with that. Your best bet is to take a look at the kind of two-timing "idiot' you have become. Ask yourself why you're operating this way and what you're afraid of. Then yourself another "why?" after every answer that comes up in your mind. It's amazing how far you can get with this kind of self-counselling. Counselling hint: Your words -- "I am soon going to have no one" -- could be pivotal in your self-discovery.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 15, 2012 C2

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