Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

'Nice' guy taking sex partners for granted

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is in response to the "nice" guy who's upset because a casual sex buddy is blowing the whistle to another one in the chain he's "satisfying." First off, a truly nice guy would have informed his numerous sexual partners that they are not the only ones involved. A woman, or any person for that matter, has the full right to protect themselves, a problem especially if you weren't using high-quality condoms. "Casual" doesn't mean that the woman doesn't have a right to look out for her own health. If you think you're being nice, you're just delusional. You know full well that you were deceiving them too, otherwise you would have mentioned it to them. Stop trying to make yourself feel better, and accept you're not as "nice" a guy as you think. -- "Nice" Woman, Winnipeg

Dear Nice Woman: In his letter to my column, the fellow said his string of partners knew it was casual, but I do agree with you it seems like he was taking that for granted. He certainly didn't mention the number of ladies in his harem. A person really owes it to a casual new partner to have an honest discussion before having sex -- particularly when he has a group of regular sex buddies. They need to discuss the parameters of the situation, and any pesky diseases involved in the group (not just with him). They must make a vow to use quality latex condoms for barrier protection at all times even if the woman is on the pill or using some other form of birth control.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In your column recently, you suggested people start locking up their cabins in remote areas if they don't want anyone to enter. In case people get lost or are stranded, there would no longer be availability to shelter, food and safety. Trappers leave their cabins unlocked for that reason. -- Been There, Done That

Dear Been There: Thanks for writing about this little-known topic in urban Canada. The unwritten "rules" in less populated country are not known to everyone. The people who wrote about the couple who stayed in their cabin said it was located in a remote spot. But, I wonder how long can people continue to use a cabin to take shelter? In this case, it seems the people (who left signs they were a couple) stayed a while, got extra firewood and built some additional protection for it from the elements. They seem to have stayed for more than emergency time. Is there a trappers' rule for how long you can stay -- a few days, a week, a whole season?

 

Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 17, 2013 D4

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