DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I slept through my wedding day when I was a boy of 19. My girlfriend was 18 and pregnant and it was a shotgun marriage. I got drunk the night before and didn't make it back from the cabin where there was no phone. I woke up at 1 p.m. and the wedding was supposed to be two hours earlier at 11 a.m. I didn't show up at all, just drove far away and hid. She never spoke to me again, except through her father, who tore me to shreds... I didn't get married until I was in my 30s. The marriage is good; we went together to get married with a couple of witnesses. But now, I'm in a terrible situation once again. My former girlfriend, the one I left at the altar, must be living in my neighbourhood now. I saw her in a store and ran out. I saw her again last night in the drug store. This time she saw me and our eyes met for about 10 seconds. I'm deeply upset by this. I heard that, in the end, she wasn't pregnant, whatever that means. What should I do? -- Her Worst Nightmare, Osborne Village
Dear Nightmare: Walk fearlessly through your neighbourhood with a plan in place. Know what you will say to her if you see her again. It may be a chance to heal the old wounds, or it might just be her chance to tell you off. Be sure you manage to say the two words that means so much when spoken from the heart: "I'm sorry." Don't make excuses for yourself like, "I was just a boy." She may make them for you, or she may not. It depends how she has digested this history from her past. She may actually be in better shape than you are, since it seems you have not dealt with her in any way. She stared at you without turning. That means she will probably talk to you, if you wish. Perhaps she would like closure on this too.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: What do you say to someone who calls you down, but still comes over to sleep with you and says he loves you, after the bar? I know I shouldn't open the door but he's so adorable and funny when he's had something to drink. When he's sober, he's kind of depressed and he says mean things. I think the real person is released by the alcohol, don't you? Please help. -- Hopeful, Weston
Dear Hopeful: Both sides of this person are real. But, one could argue the "more real" of the two sides is the guy he is when he's sober. You can't afford to be with that guy! He's the booty caller -- a big conniver. He charms his way into your bed and your emotions when he wants sex, but returns to the depressed critical guy who isn't in love with you when he grows sober. A man who truly loves you takes you out, introduces you to friends and family and shows he loves you 24/7.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6