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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Plant some privacy bushes
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have bad neigbours on three sides -- an alcoholic single woman on the east who gets drunk and wants to spill her guts, a snoopy old man on the south, and loud biker folks on my north. But, on the west side of my place lives my best friend in the whole world! I don't want to move because of her and she will never move. But, I work at home amd these other people are driving me crazy. Money is not the issue. I have some inheritance money to blow. How do I keep the bad neighbors away? -- Going Nuts, St. James
Dear Nuts: Plant bushes that are mostly grown already and shut everybody out but your best friend. You could even keep a shared lawn with your buddy. Also, plant bushes across the front with a gate that locks and a trellised archway over the top. That will stop everybody from visiting except people you have invited, and most neighbors you won't be able to see.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend has a 48-inch bottom. It's very big and people stare. It's about 12 inches or one ruler-size too wide. She loves to wear stretch jeans -- not a good look. Her top is a normal size -- 38 DD. I am very attached to her lovely bosom, but worried about her overall size and weight. What if she gets even bigger and has a heart attack? I love that woman! She refuses to diet or work out and she also threatens me if I suggest cutting back on the daily pizzas. She says if she loses that much weight off her rear end, her normal sized breasts will totally disappear. Is she lying to me? -- The Pear's Boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend: She's partly fibbing. Her fat stores are mostly on her behind so they will reduce more than the fatty tissue of her breasts. Her top will get somewhat smaller, but there's no way her 38 DD breasts will disappear to nothing. If she loses weight and exercises to lose inches, she's going to look more proportioned. By the way, how did you get those specific numbers? Most overweight women guard their measurements with their lives.
Please email your problems for Miss Lonelyhearts to lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters to 1355 Mountain Ave. R2X 3B6.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 13, 2012 D5
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