DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I had a lot of money, and two large inheritances from my family invested. I also have a professional career. But I was lonely. Along came this beautiful younger woman and suddenly I have a new expensive house in Winnipeg, a place in Florida and her kids are going to university in the U.S. on my money. She is into my money like there's no tomorrow and I can't seem to stop her. She has high-limit credit cards, which I pay, and she uses them for clothes, furniture for the house and expensive trips to see her mother and her sister overseas. She stays home (she has never had a career) and is happy to be a shopping housewife.
On the other hand, she cooks like a real chef, treats me like a king, she's wonderful in bed and says how much she loves me and I just can't seem to say no to her. Yesterday I had a talk with my accountan, and he just kept shaking his head. He said, "I've been a friend of yours as well as your accountant for 20 years and I have not seen anybody's money decrease at this rate for a long time." Then he showed me the numbers and where I was headed. My wife's last husband left her for reasons I never completely understood. She told me he was "an OK guy, but very bad with money." It appears he doesn't have much now, as he's in an apartment. Is this my fate too? Is she really a gold digger, as my accountant implies? -- Losing My Shirt to Love, Winnipeg
Dear Losing My Shirt: This woman is clever enough to choose men who can't say no to her sweetness and sexuality and she quickly gains major control of the money. Ask your accountant what should be done to stop the bleeding of your accounts, then start making changes where it makes sense, not out of anger and malice. She may leave you and find herself another guy who's easier to manipulate, but that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. If you figure out this relationship is not about love, and her sugary treatment of you in and out of bed is simply a means to get at your fortune, you will start falling out of love yourself.
If you two really do love each other, and she is more of a spoiled teenager than a conniver, you may just need to lay down the law. Relationship counselling would help you take back your power. It's interesting she said her last husband didn't know how to manage money. Clearly she doesn't respect that. With your accountant's help you can show her you can manage money well, and she can learn to respect that, or depart.
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