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Diversions

Queen dominatrix needs to respect boundaries

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 1/7/2014 (934 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife has recently read the requisite dominatrix books and gone to some sessions where she is learning big things. She informed me last night that I should respond to her orders around the house with, "Yes, my Queen." I encouraged the dominatrix stuff at first because I thought the costumes would be a turn-on, but now this kinky scene has escaped the confines of our bedroom. She has bought me frilly panties, stopped doing any of the housework and expects me to play the role of sissy slave when I'm home. I am a respected chartered accountant in this city, and believe me, I am nobody's slave. -- Annoyed by the Queen, Downtown

Dear Fed Up: Everybody involved in "kinky" experiments, especially orderly accountants, should have boundaries set out clearly ahead of time to be respected by their mates. Say to your wife, "These are my boundaries: You can be the boss in the bedroom when we agree to a session, but the rest of the time, we are equals." As for specific behaviours, like the housework, say, "You can start going back to doing your half of the housework, and I will say 'Yes, my Queen,' when it's appropriate to such scenes in the bedroom." As for the frilly panties used for playful humiliation, you will have to decide about that. Some men find it threatening to their manhood, others think it's a hoot.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hired a fix-it man to repair my fence for a certain amount. Without asking me, he also went ahead and started fixing broken boards on the deck. He said, "It's OK, you don't have to pay me, but it's dangerous for your kid." I relented, he rebuilt the entire deck because I let him, and the bill skyrocketed. Now he's started talking about the dilapidated garage and I really can't afford it. What should I say to him? -- Single Mom on Blown Budget, West End

Dear Single Mom: He used guilt to up-sell you on the deck. Past the "free" broken boards you should have swallowed the guilt and said no. A more assertive homeowner might have said, "You fixed those boards without consent so I will take you at your word, you did them for free." But now you must take responsibility for letting him go ahead and re-do the whole deck. Ask for a discount because he started without permission. Then pay him the remaining money you owe and say goodbye -- and no garage -- thanks.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My young dog poops in the house even after he's gone outside in the yard. He saves some for the house, I swear it! What's going on? -- His Human Mom, Westwood

Dear Mom: Walk it out of him. Dog experts advise you take a young pooch for a nice long walk after meals when his digestive system is stimulated and moving like a conveyer belt. He will poop it out naturally, often during several stops, whether he wants to or not. If you just take him out to the yard, he lets you know he has a lot more to come -- in the house. Dogs need exercise, just like humans. If you can't give him proper exercise, hire a neighbourhood kid who likes dogs as a part-time summer job and give him the roll of bags.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Read more by Miss Lonelyhearts.

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