DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have poor eyesight and can't see my own face close in the mirror. My new boyfriend and I were in the bathroom together this morning and he asked me if I'd like to borrow his razor. I said, "I just shaved my legs." He laughed and said, "Yep, but you missed your moustache!"
I was horrified. I looked really close in the mirror and everything was a blur, so I felt my upper lip with my finger and there was a furry feeling. He said, "Just get rid of it, no problem. I do it every day." It was humiliating standing there shaving my moustache off!
Now I don't know what to do. I wonder if he hates the dark hair on my arms, too. I can't help it; I am a very dark-haired woman and have lots of hair. Is this the wrong boyfriend for me? -- Fuzzy, North End
Dear Fuzzy: Actually, he might be just the right boyfriend for you, if you don't take offence. He's blunt, like many guys, but certainly well-meaning and funny about it, too. Perhaps he's not crazy about the moustache, but he's crazy about you. Why not get rid of it? You can do it faster and more permanently with waxing or laser removal and not have to shave like a guy.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am crazy about a gorgeous guy at the gym and go there up to six days a week to look at his amazing body. I smile at him and say a few words every day. He doesn't respond much, but he isn't wearing a wedding ring. He's close to my age (30) and I just melt when I see him. I try to station myself so I am looking right at him. I change positions many times to get different views. Today when I was gawking at him, he gave me a sarcastic wave, with a grimace. Does this mean I'm caught? What should I do now? -- The Gawker, Southdale
Dear Gawker: People can feel eyes boring into their backs and they can sense a stare from across a room. You have made this poor guy feel watched and uncomfortable at the gym where he pays monthly. It's time to back right off. Stay away from the gym for a few days and then resume a normal cycle of attendance, making sure you are facing in different directions from this guy. If possible, just change the time you go in order to miss him.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have an embarrassing problem: I'm getting turned on to my beautiful young massage therapist. It is growing into a bad situation. I am recently a happily married man and I didn't mean for this to happen! My therapist is excellent at what she does and is improving my injury. She is also charming and smells wonderful.
The other day she said she was in a hurry to get another patient in the cubicle, and I had to say, "Please give me a minute or two here and then I'll get dressed and get out of here." She said a reluctant, "OK."
I really wonder if I need to switch therapists. I don't want a guy working on me, for obvious reasons, but this woman-touch thing is massively confusing to me. -- New Husband, Westwood
Dear New Husband: The bottom line is you feel uncomfortable, in many ways, so you need to change therapists, plain and simple. Male therapists are not going to come on to you, if that's what you were implying. Neither are the female ones, but you're having a problem with deft female hands, the charm and scent of this woman, so book an appointment with a male therapist somewhere else and see how that goes for you. If that doesn't work, maybe you need a woman who looks more motherly.
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