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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Readers respond to Frustrated
DEAR READERS: The letter from Frustrated in St. Boniface hit a nerve with married women in Winnipeg who go out to the bars and hustle single guys until the end of the night, and then say they're married. He complained about being treated in a hurtful way. Here are some of the letters -- from women, about why they do it, and what they think he should do:
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm married with children, and when I go out to the bar and men look at me, I find it very satisfying to know I'm still attractive. I don't lead men on, or approach them, but when I'm approached, I will engage in conversation. Only when asked, will I reveal that I'm married. Most times I will get the, "We're only talking right? No harm!" or "He's not here, is he?" I think the thrill is "I could have done it, if I wanted to, but I didn't!" Yet, I know of many men who are actually attached and, unlike most woman, will not reveal that, until after they have slept with that person. My advice to Frustrated is, "Ask the woman before you dance and have a good time, if she has a husband or boyfriend" and make your decision from there. -- Sensible Way To Deal, Winnipeg
Dear Sensible: Your line "I could have done it but I didn't" is a sanctimonious comment from a woman who's been out flirting with single men, keeping her rings in her purse. And your husband is doing what -- babysitting the kids at home? Look, there should be no harm in dancing with anybody, anywhere, unless it's a slow dance involving grinding. The ring is a sparkly sign that says, "You can talk and dance with me, but that's it." Just wear your wedding rings, and make it easy for single people to know what's-what!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Frustrated. During an unsatisfying relationship, I did what you're complaining about. I loved it! Why do you take it so seriously? I mean, are you genuinely looking for a relationship from an evening at a night club? Don't lose heart, Frustrated. Keep fishing! You'll come across one who's single or (dare I say it) actually interested. -- Because it's Fun, Maples
Dear Because: There's real fun and mean fun. What you're suggesting Frustrated should accept is one-sided mean fun. Finding out at the end of a whole night of flirting and dancing and talking with a certain woman is unfair.
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 16, 2012 D5
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