Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend just asked me to his Grade 12 grad, which is in June. Last year, I would have been thrilled, but the trouble is I don't think I want to be in this relationship forever, now. I like my boyfriend about 85 per cent, like an old husband. Should I tough it out, so I don't disappoint him, and also guarantee I have a nice grad date myself? Or should I tell him right now that we're kind of through when I'm not quite sure? -- Sweet 16 Is Not So Sweet, Winnipeg
Dear Not So Sweet: Don't make your life all about graduation night. Rock the relationship boat instead and bring up the things that bug you. He may have things that bother him about you, too. Frank discussion is the bravest and best way to go. Things tend to evolve the way they should: either it works out and the relationship catches fire, or it tanks quickly. So, get in that leaky boat and rock it this week! If you find that neither of you is happy, wrap it up within a month and you both still have lots of time to get other dates for grad.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My older brother is gay and away at an out-of-town university where he can be "out" and comfortable. The other day some nosy friend of his asked me if my brother was gay, and I didn't know what to say. I tried the thing you have suggested -- saying, "Why do you ask?" -- and he said, "I just want to know the truth, that's all." I just stammered away and didn't say much of anything, but I felt really angry afterwards. What should I have said? -- Protecting My Big Brother, St. Vital
Dear Protecting: Sometimes you have to be very direct with this kind of person and cut them off. Say something like, "Well, that's rude! That's way too personal a question to be asking. See you around."
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm scared to walk home at night, although it's not far from my work. This man I work with knows and has been kind enough to give me a ride most nights, but last night things changed -- he asked me out when he got me home. I have no attraction to him and realized he must have thought we were getting around to romance. I said I couldn't for some stupid reason, and jumped out. Now, how am I going to get home from work safely? -- Need a Ride, Portage Avenue
Dear Need a Ride: Instead of looking for free rides home, offer to carpool with someone and give them a few bucks a night to pay for gas to drop you off. Since you're close to work, it can't be difficult for someone to swing by your house. As for the guy who was driving you home, he had no idea you were just enjoying a safe ride home. Don't be mad at him. He must be feeling embarrassed since he thought you were actually flirting with him.
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