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School's out, but your teacher is still off-limits

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have had a crush on my single male teacher all through Grade 12. I think he likes me back, although he is too "professional" to say anything. Summer is coming and his family has a cottage at the same beach where mine is. Would it be OK to cruise it a few times and stop by for a visit, if I see his car? -- Mad Crush, Winnipeg


Dear Crush: That might be OK in two or three years, but this young teacher couldn't possibly date you now if he wanted to -- not in the summer after you graduate Grade 12. It could look bad for him. Teachers can lose their jobs by consorting with students romantically and it might look like you had been hiding a romance while he was teaching you.

Forget him for now. Let it all die down and try to find someone with some of his qualities who has never been your teacher. If you're still thinking about him in a couple of years, you might stop in at the family cottage and say hello, but be prepared for him to have a girlfriend or wife.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I first met this woman in September 2010. I've never been one to believe in love at first sight but that's what happened to me. I'm almost 30 and she's mid-30s. She knows I'm attracted to her, but she has no clue how I feel about her. I've never felt like this before. I was hoping you might be able to give me some advice. -- In Love, North End


Dear In Love: First you have to find out if she has someone she's quietly seeing. You don't mention how you know her and see her. Is it at work, sports, a store, restaurant, a neighbourhood hangout?

The first step in getting closer to anyone is to talk with them. Don't lead with a statement about your feelings. That will scare a woman away. Let her know you like what she's wearing or her new haircut, her jewelry, her laugh. Ask her about recent movies, books she likes, her work and family. Second step is dating. Then, later, some expression of feelings when you suspect the other person has feelings too. Never tell someone you're in love with them right off the hop. It's embarrassing -- and a short cut to the end.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm dating a very passionate actress. She's always improvising while we go shopping or drive in the car or are getting dressed after sex. She sometimes wants me to play an old man to her old woman, or two characters out of a movie we have just seen together. I find this fun sometimes, but I don't want to be constantly acting. I don't like the pressure to play with her. Is she kind of nuts, as some friends have hinted, or am I just too low-energy for her? I really, really like her. -- Unwilling, River Heights

Dear Unwilling: You sound exhausted. Don't let yourself be used as the unwilling half of an improv duo because it's cheaper for her -- and there you are, interested in her mind and body, and always available. Time to take your bow and wander off a little.

This young woman may not be "nuts," but she needs her own stage like she needs her next breath. Suggest she call film casting agencies so she can immerse herself in real theatre set-ups filming in town. Also, hand her the brochures to get herself enrolled in classes for the fall. If anyone knows of summer acting possibilities, please write in.


Please send your questions or comments c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 5, 2014 G4

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