DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend and I have been engaged for the past seven months. We are both seniors in our late 60s and he tells me he loves me every day. The other day I went on his computer and found out he's writing letters to single women on an online dating site. He's on the side where women send flirts and messages. I might add these are not love letters. He gives his phone number or he asks them to call him. These women would like to meet him and go for coffee or lunch. I'm not sure if has ever done it. Now I'm losing trust and feel kind of betrayed. I almost let it out the other day. He said If I would go on his computer it would be a criminal offence. Should I tell him I know about these letters, or keep quiet? -- Suspicious Senior, Winnipeg
Dear Suspicious: Why would you keep quiet? This is not the kind of guy you marry. He's not devoted to you exclusively and he's still fooling around -- probably never stopped. That's all you should need to know unless you want an open marriage where you can both fool around online and off. Are you lowering your standards because of your age? You want to give him more rope -- give him lots. You know where he's been playing around, so you could write him using an online alias and see how far he's willing to go. Ask him if he is seeing anyone and hear his phoney answers. That should turn you off him. Or just tell him you've seen his online profile, and throw him the ring.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: May I suggest an additional option for the writer who states he can't quit drinking because he'll get the DTs? He is right to be concerned, as the delirium tremens can be fatal. He can safely withdraw at the chemical withdrawal unit at Health Sciences Centre. There is a chemical withdrawal triage nurse in the HSC emergency department, or his doctor can arrange for admission. It's only a few days, and they'll connect him with community followup. -- Former Psychiatric Nurse
Dear Former Nurse: Thank you. That is excellent information. Consider it passed on. I will email the writer, as well, to make sure he gets the information.
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