DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Ugh! My ex's new girlfriend is so annoying. I've never had a problem with her and wasn't even upset they got together, shortly after I dumped him. Like, please, if he was worth keeping, I would still have him. What she doesn't know is that he's been cheating on her -- with me.
She acts like she's better than me, and all I want to do is tell her I've been sleeping with her perfect boyfriend. I want to wipe that stupid smirk off her face. But I have zero feelings for my ex, and I don't want him back either. What to do? Tell her and break them up? But for what? I don't want to date him, and I don't want to deal with her yappy drama ether. But I can't keep it a secret, or can I ? -- Damned if I Do, Damned if I Don't, Northern Manitoba
Dear Damned: Taking a zero-rated guy back into your bed doesn't prove you're as good or better than this new female interest of his. It just looks like you have no one else to go out with. Meanwhile, Mr. Zero is feeling like a hero, reaping the benefits of two jealous women trying to outdo each other.
This isn't about the boyfriend you're sharing at all. It's about the new woman, and you are becoming way too intimate with her. By sharing this guy, you are repeatedly sharing in HER sexual history and any secret present-day adventures. How would you like to catch a sexually transmitted infection from her?
Stop wasting your time in bed with a retread. Back right off and invest your sexual energy -- a powerful hunting force -- into looking for a great new guy.
As for telling her he's cheating with you, that would put you below her level, not above. Just stop playing this useless game.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to the problem with loud public talkers, especially in restaurants. If someone is being that much of a nuisance with his voice, I would not have a problem with walking to his table and quietly saying something in his ear. The alternative? Why not drop a note on the table and walk away? -- Grace at Dinner, Winnipeg
Dear Grace: The note is a cool idea, as it might help the loud diner save face and prevent an argument -- unless he's with a woman and then she's going to want to see that note. If he's with the guys, it'll just look like you're flirting.
Of course, you have to be prepared for a note back and it could be nasty. A loud talker is not a shy flower and may supply tit for tat. If you aren't up for that, asking the restaurant manager to handle the situation is best, if he or she will do it. You could also ask to be moved away from that noisy table, if there's room. If too much liquor is the problem, the bartender should be informed, so as not to keep serving.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.