DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was walking down Osborne Street the other day to go to a bar and coming straight for me was a woman I jumped-and-dumped and hurt. One of her friends phoned me up and told me what a creep I was and how I had hurt her with all the love crap I told her. What's her problem? Apparently I said a lot of things I didn't mean during the six days we were stuck together like glue. It was just a fun sex thing. I've done this before and no one ever complained; it adds to the fun of the game.
She didn't look away, although I knew she'd spotted me and she had eyes like two hot coals. I knew she was going to accost me. I wanted to run into the oncoming traffic, but had no choice but to walk towards her, or turn tail and run back to the liquor store from whence I came. I had the tell-tale brown bags in my hand and it's well-known I drink a little too much. As she was about to walk by me she stopped and yelled at me, "You're a lying (creep) and a pathetic drunk!" People looked, thinking there would be a fight, but she changed her mind and kept going. I don't know why this bothers me so much since I'm only 28, but I can't stop thinking about it. -- Plagued By Her, Osborne Village
Dear Plagued: You were going from the liquor store to a bar, packing more liquor for home, which sounds like you have a drinking problem. One way it's manifesting itself is mean behaviour, lying and playing games with women's hearts. Drinking probably makes you more verbose, and to make things go well in bed, you tell lies about emotions you don't feel. How many young women have you "loved" and left with your pretend love game?
This town is too small for a bad reputation, especially if you hang around a neighbourhood or certain bars where everybody gets to know you and the word gets around. The reason you're obsessing on this insult is your mind is computing it as truth and setting off an alarm. Are you not the silver-tongued lover you thought you were? Are you really a hurtful drunk at 28?
It's time to visit the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba (204-944-6200) and talk to a counsellor about how far down the road you are. Alcoholism can lead to poor sexual function, damaged organs, unemployment, failed relationships and often an early death. That's a nasty picture for a young-ish guy, but one you should take a serious look at it right now. You got the wake-up call on Osborne Street.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw something that shocked me in a big-box store. This obese woman in low-slung jeans and a short shirt had leaned over the shopping cart to blow her child's nose and she was flashing the whole lineup her huge muffin top and a thong she was wearing. It was disgusting. She had to feel the breeze. This little old lady behind her said, "Pull your pants up, girlie!" and the thong woman turned around and said, "Mind your own business, old lady, or I'll give you something to worry about." At that point I stepped in front of the old lady to protect her (I'm a big guy). She got the message, but I was mad at myself the rest of the day for standing there like a big goof and not saying something. What should I have said? -- Stuck for Words, Winnipeg
Dear Stuck: You created a wall and stopped the altercation. There's no law against wearing a disgusting outfit and bending over to blow your child's nose. Who would want fashion police? But there was a threat and it's good to keep the peace. What you did, big guy, was absolutely perfect for the situation. You could have added, "Now you're dealing with me," but that would have sounded like a threat when she repeated it to the store manager.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.