Sounds like you're 50 shades of scared to try anything different

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I don't know what the fuss over this 50 Shades of Grey is! My girlfriend and her friends are always going on about this book about bondage and worse. I don't want to do any of the crap I hear they read about in the book, but now I feel like I may have to. It sounds a lot kinkier than anything I ever wanted to do. My girlfriend, who's 26, is pushing me to read the book and try some stuff. Should I? -- Straight Arrow, West Kildonan

Dear Straight Arrow: You need to know what's going on, not just to guess what she wants so you can accept, reject or experiment. But, you might want to start with the second book of the 50 Shades trilogy called 50 Shades Darker, which isn't as tough to take as the last part of the first book. In the second book, the wildly-attracted couple have gotten back together and the male is willing to tame some of his sadistic desires for the love of the woman who has left him because of it. The third book, in my not-so-humble opinion, is just an additional money-maker for the author. Once you know what your girlfriend has been reading, and how far she wants to go with this -- and who's on top -- you can better make a decision.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was in bed with a girl I shouldn't have been seeing when my buddy came home unexpectedly from a fishing trip. We heard him in the driveway, unloading gear from his truck. I ran out the back door before he got in the front door. His live-in girl thought it was "like a movie" and because of that, I'm afraid she's going to tell her friends and it could get back to my buddy. I only did her because she got me drunk and took off her clothes. I know we shouldn't have done it in their bed, although it was just the once and it wasn't serious -- didn't mean anything to either of us. I feel bad now, but I wasn't thinking right when it happened and we had both been drinking wine. I thought my friend was out of town until early Monday morning but I should have known he might change his mind. How do I make sure she shuts up? He means more to me than that little ditz. -- Worried Guy, North End

Dear Worried: You care more about him now as an afterthought, now that you're satisfied. But that day you went to your "friend's" house alone with his girlfriend, got drunk with her, watched as she took off her clothes and climbed into your buddy's bed with her. Now you're saying "Maybe I shouldn't have done that." You're also saying the onus is on HER to keep the secret. In this case, you will just have to wait to see what happens. You can't make people shut up. By the way, you are not a friend. Don't call yourself one.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man with a sad, brooding kind of look, very good-looking and all I wanted to do was cheer him up. It gave me a challenge to get a shy smile out of him. I found him so sexy. I knew he was going through a bad break up and I felt like I was saving him from falling into a bad depression. We went out for four weeks. Then she came back! Now every time I run into them he's grinning like a fool and I don't know what I saw him in him. Why was he so much better-looking when he was sad? -- Confused By My Reactions

Dear Confused: Researchers doing tests on photos say women are more sexually attracted to men's brooding faces than happy ones. Clearly, you are one of these women. Just beware of the moody, troubled personality that can accompany that sad face. You'd be better off to find a cutie with a good personality who could pull a brooding face for you as a laugh sometimes when you're heading for the bedroom.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 16, 2012 A15