Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last night when I was sleeping beside my husband, I dreamed of a woman who was strong and muscled, wearing jeans and a tight T-shirt. I was totally turned on by her and had a "complete" sexual experience in my dream.
I woke up scared, wondering, "Does this make me a lesbian now?" My husband woke up early to go to work, and I made him stay home and be late to prove I was still a heterosexual. The sex was OK with him, but it wasn't as great as it was with her in my dream.
I can't talk to anyone about this because I am a Roman Catholic. Now I have this secret I need to confess, but I don't want my priest to know. I'm in a terrible situation. I am in my late 20s and have young kids and a husband and I think I am partly lesbian. What am I supposed to do? Please help. -- Going Crazy, S. Winnipeg
Dear Going Crazy: If you dreamed you had sex with someone you felt was inappropriate, like Spider-Man, would you worry yourself sick over that? No. You would probably tell yourself that was a dream and a freebie. If it happened repeatedly, you might begin to worry. Our minds are free in our sleep to put puzzle pieces together in different ways. You have to learn to flip off dreams unless they dominate your mind. It's just a way of letting off steam.
As for confessing to your priest, that's something you will have to decide for yourself. It will not be the first time he hears this fantasy dream (not by a long shot) and he won't be shocked. Sometimes confessing something worrisome can lessen the pressure in your mind. Weigh it out and stop being hard on yourself over dreams you can't control.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to "Searching," your readers have sent some useful resources to pass on about tracing Métis genealogy. Here's a few more: On April 24 at the Louis Riel Library, 1168 Dakota St. at 6 p.m., Randy Ranville of the Manitoba Métis Culture Heritage and Resource Centre will present the various resources available to anyone interested in researching their Métis ancestry. Register (free) at 204-986-4573.
For children and their caregivers, the library, in conjunction with the Louis Riel Institute and the Métis Federation, offers an eight-week cultural program called Little Métis Sing With Me.
But the resource that most closely parallels Searching's journey is a 30-minute video made by Winnipegger Janelle Wookey, documenting her quest to explore her Métis roots. It follows her search for her aboriginal identity, as well as her mission to encourage her grandmother to leave the shadows of the long years of family secrecy and live the rest of her life as a proud Métis senior. The video is a very powerful and personal story of family secrets that many Manitoba families can relate to. It's called Mémeré Métisse and is available at the Winnipeg Public Library.
Good luck and great joy in your journey, Searching. -- Want to Help, Winnipeg
Dear Want to Help: Thanks for taking the time to write in with these excellent new suggestions for anyone looking to trace their Métis ancestry, which can be very difficult. Every resource for tracking down new clues is greatly appreciated.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6