Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Stop buzzin' around husband's cousin

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I love my husband a lot, but now I also love his cousin who came to live with us for a few months. I only realized I was falling in love with him about three weeks ago. I almost lost it, and slipped into his bed in the basement bedroom one night. He is perfect, hot-looking and has lots of muscles from working out. He has been so helpful around the house, affectionate with the kids and happy to do anything. When this shocking love-and-desire feeling started to surface, I told him abruptly, "It's time to move out." He said, "Why?" I said, "I can only let you guess why," and tears ran down my face. He said, "Oh, I see. OK, I'll be gone by tonight, but I love you, too." My heart started banging in my chest.

He made a phone call and started packing right then while I cried silently through the whole process. I even helped him out to his car, crying. My little sons kept saying, "Why are you crying, Mommy? Where is uncle going?" He drove off to stay with his best buddy. I have not seen him since. I told my husband he left because he needed his own place. I am completely heartsick without him. What should I do? -- Going Nuts, Winnipeg

Dear Going Nuts: The "almost relationship" with the cousin was new and exciting. It felt wonderful to be around someone who hadn't heard all your jokes and complaints and who thought you were great. Can you love two people at once? It does actually happen on occasion, but you can only stay with one in a regular marriage with kids.

When you are busy with life issues and raising children and dealing with the drudgery, it's easy to lose the romantic feelings for a time -- or forever. Since you have built a life with your husband and family, that is where you need to rebuild the fun, laughter and sexual desire you used to have.

Luckily, you say you still have a lot of love for your husband. That means you can work on fixing this as long as you stay away from the attractive cousin -- that means no talking or emailing, either. He needs to be a fading memory from now on. You were wise to ask that cousin to leave. Now stay wise, and leave him alone. You may want to see a counsellor for help in doing that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate my relatives and now I'm stuck going to the big dinner because my new wife loves "being with our big family." She's from Quebec and loves family stuff. I don't. My mother always gets drunk and sentimental and pulls out my naked baby pictures and stuff. My dad also gets sentimental and calls his relatives in Quebec. My cousins play Risk and fight the whole time, drinking way too much whisky. Last year we went, and my wife loved the craziness. Christmas with the two of us would be death for her. How do I make both of us happy? Drop her off? Come early and leave right after dinner? Get drunker than everybody else and pass out? Please answer ASAP. -- Hate Christmas Dinner, Winnipeg

Dear Hate: Suck it up, buttercup. Your gregarious wife is away from her Quebecois family who enjoy a big noisy Christmas. Don't ruin this for her by grumbling or going home early. Go to the party, and after the turkey, station yourself away from the Risk players and chat with all the oldies. Look at your wife with her eyes shining and consider that your continued presence is your best gift to her. So what if it's not sedate and really crazy? It's one night of the year. Eat enough turkey and you'll feel happy and mellowed out by the tryptophan.

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 23, 2013 D4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Spring fashion trends

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • Carolyn Kavanagh(10) had this large dragonfly land on her while spending time at Winnetka Lake, Ontario. photo by Andrea Kavanagh (mom0 show us your summer winnipeg free press
  • Marc Gallant / Winnipeg Free Press. Local- Weather standup. Sundog. Refraction of light through ice crystals which caused both the sun dog and and fog along McPhillips Road early Wednesday morning. 071205.

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do you agree with the province’s crackdown on flavoured tobacco products?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google