11°c Overcast
18°c Light rain
Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Take husband to counselling, but talk to lawyer, too
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just found out my husband, who works in a town just outside the city, has something going on with a young woman in her 20s who also works there. I arrived out there to pick him up, when he had to put his truck in a garage for repairs, and I came early to see if he'd give me a tour of his work and the town. Well, I got more than you'd see on a tour, when I arrived a half hour early and found them out smoking behind the main building. They weren't looking my way, and he had his back turned. Something about their demeanour made me sit in my car and watch. Finally he reached down and kissed her on the mouth, gave her behind a squeeze and they kept on talking and smoking and looking in each other's eyes. I finally got out of my car and walked right up to them and said to my husband "Get in the car. We're going to go home and tell our son we're getting a divorce." He cried all the way home and begged for forgiveness, saying it was "just a kiss, a one time thing after she said something cute." He refuses to move out. What should we do? I don't know if I love him or not anymore. -- Living in Limbo, South Wpg. Suburb
Dear Limbo: It may be harder to watch a kiss than it is to hear rumours of an affair. There's no possibility of going into denial with the picture of the kiss and the fondling playing on a continuous loop in your mind. They may not have had sex at this point but the kiss hurt you a great deal. If your husband wants to save this marriage with you, he can't keep on working there. You two need to go to counselling and be willing to engage in heart-to-heart talks with you about what's been going on with him, the marriage and this woman. Is he willing to do all that? Has there been any fault on your side? How is your love/sex life with him? These are the questions you need to discuss with a counsellor in the room, to keep things proceeding fairly instead of going from bad to worse. As for your husband's refusal to leave the home, it doesn't sound like either of you are ready yet, but do see a lawyer privately about this possibility and the ways and means of accomplishing it.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Having just read your response to Sensible Way to Deal in the May 16 issue, I feel I must sentence you to 50 swats with this very newspaper for your flagrant disservice to husbands everywhere. Your comment: "And your husband is doing what -- babysitting the kids at home?" is unbelievable coming from (a) a mom; and (b) a relationship columnist. As the mother of a passel of children, I cringe every time someone who sees me out and about without any of my offspring comments: "Where's 'Bob'? Babysitting?" My reply: "A husband does not babysit his own children." If a husband is out, without his wife and children, do you assume the wife is at home babysitting? -- Mother of 6, Rural Manitoba.
Dear Mother of Six: Your cleverly-worded response fails to address the whole issue -- which is married women going out to the bars to spend the night, with their rings in their purses, leading on single men -- in this case one particular guy all night. At the end of the night she said, "I'm married. See ya!" So, 50 swats back at ya for conveniently sidestepping the issue and jumping on the soapbox. Who cares if women go out and enjoy themselves without their husbands? I don't, except when they're leading on single guys at a bar all night. Husbands should not have to babysit for that.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 28, 2012 D4
More Diversions
- Back to Top
- Return to Diversions
More Diversions
(1 of 15 articles for this week)
Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
1:00 AM 0DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm afraid to go back to our lake. Last year I had an affair with a woman ...
Poll
Most Popular Diversions
- Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
- Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- Today's Horoscope
- Tread very carefully in foreign romantic waters
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Hang on, McPuff; you're stepping over the line
- You're not blood relatives, but...
- There's more to the story than golf
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Hang on, McPuff; you're stepping over the line
- There's more to the story than golf
- Tread very carefully in foreign romantic waters
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- You're not blood relatives, but...
- Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
- Readers offer suggestions to keep the romance alive
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- horoscope may 14
- It was 'just' sex to him; he doesn't want you around
- Cheating ex-boyfriend not worth the heartache
- Go back to see him again, but keep eyes, ears open
- Tell nasty Miss Slappy that it's over... for good
- Time to pack up your new boobs, say goodbye?
- If you love ballet so much, why focus on pole dancing? Miss Lonelyhearts
- He's keeping his cross-dressing life in the trunk
- Go back to the bar and see if you can find 'john'
- Ask your mother, but do it gently
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Durango, Colo., area couple gives up fight to keep catwalk for kitties to leave 2nd floor unit
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Today's Horoscope
- Durango, Colo., area couple gives up fight to keep catwalk for kitties to leave 2nd floor unit
- Woman, 80 accidentally swallows $5,000 diamond at Tampa, Fla., charity event
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- When nature calls: Kansas woman enters bathroom at same time as escaped circus tiger
- Today's Horoscope
- Calgary Stampede releases midway treats, including deep-fried butter
- Haiku horoscopes
- Can't keep a good dog down: 2nd-time competitor Huckleberry wins 'Beautiful Bulldog' crown
- 2 pounds of loose skin removed from Obie, the formerly fat Oregon dog; lost 40 pounds on diet
- Ask your girlfriend to man up and level with you
Ads by Google
You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is register and/or login and you can join the conversation and give your feedback.
Have Your Say
New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.
The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.