Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/9/2013 (1110 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have wanted my good-looking semi-available boss so much all summer, I just couldn't stand it. Last Friday I waited until I thought our whole office had emptied out but him (he's always the last) and I walked into his office with a cooler. I had drinks and appetizers in it. I closed the Venetian blinds, shut the door and turned off the lights. I asked him to lock the door from his desk. He started to smile and turned on some music. I opened the cooler and put a blanket on the floor, like we were at the beach. One thing led to another on our pretend beach and everything was like Shangri-la until we exited the building and saw the car belonging to another exec still in the lot. What? We had thought we were all alone, so we'd made quite a lot of the noises that sound like crying, but aren't. Do we say anything to this person or just hope and pray he doesn't know? I am so nervous. -- Are We Caught? Winnipeg
Dear Caught? You may or may not have been caught and this is a definite hope-and-pray situation. What could you say without hanging yourselves? "Uh, if you heard what I think you may have heard, I just want you to know you weren't hearing..." Pull-ease! At best, the other exec may have been wearing earphones while working, or he/she may have been entertaining a friend on the phone or computer after hours. At worst, you have been caught and he or she may say something, or think better of it and let you sweat. In your favour, you left the parking lot first. Next time -- if there is a next time -- don't stay at work to save a few bucks, and perhaps lose your jobs and marriages. Not a smart investment, lusty people!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in a tough part of the North End and work until late at night. I was walking down the street last night when I heard footsteps coming faster. I started to run and a man called out, "It's just me, your neighbour! I'm walking my dog." I felt like a fool as this old guy and his dog caught up with me to walk. "I hate to see you walking alone at night in this neighbourhood so my dog and I wanted to make sure you got home safely," he said. I felt like such a fool. What is my best bet when I have to get home from the bus? I am usually so scared my heart is thumping. -- Evening Shift Terror, Winnipeg
Dear Terror: If you have to arrive home on the bus late at night, it's a good idea to get in shape. Wear running shoes like the ladies do in New York City -- no matter how dressed up they are -- and sprint the last block or two home. Luckily very few Canadians are in great shape and you'd be too much trouble to be considered an easy victim. If running is not your thing, then slow walking down a dark street needs to be replaced with a different idea. If any readers have techniques for getting home safely on foot late at night, please write in and share.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6