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Tell flirty former fling train trip was one-way

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a very silly sexual adventure on a train trip a few years ago. Two weeks ago, this same guy from the train moved into my apartment block and spotted me in the lobby. Boy, did his eyes light up. Unfortunately, we leave for work at exactly the same time and he never fails to make some awkward stupid joke referring to where we met. I pretend I don't remember. This morning he winked at me and said, "Choo-choo."

I found a great guy since and I am now living with him. I haven't told him about this creep. Should I take the choo-choo guy aside and tell him to stop? He is such a dork and I was so stupid to get involved with him, but he was the only other young, single man on the train. -- Revolted, Fort Rouge

Dear Revolted: Awkward sexual liaisons are best left unrecognized unless you live under the same apartment roof. Be nice and explain to this guy that you have a new fellow you're serious about who lives with you, and you'd really appreciate it if he'd knock off the flirting. That will probably be all it takes. Right now he's feeling cocky because you are embarrassed and squirming. He may mistake that for sexual tension and the pink cheeks indicating there's heat rising -- he might think he's hit pay dirt. Let him know you are just not interested in the slightest and you wish him the best.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My letter is in response to the lonely New Arrival. I moved from Winnipeg to Calgary at one point, so I understand the loneliness. Sports and activities are always a good way to meet. In the summer there's ball hockey, volleyball, Ultimate and baseball (which I play) and we are always looking for extra girls to play no matter the skill level (contact Kildonan Sports). She may have to go out and start doing things alone at the beginning, but it's part of putting yourself out there. Also, check the Leisure Guide for many cheap options. -- Been There, Winnipeg

Dear Been There: People who participate in sports find their feet more quickly than others in a new city, but organizational bodies for all the things you like to do are great for anyone, especially if you get involved in helping out. The same five people in a club generally do 80 per cent of the work, but they do meet everybody and have way more fun, so new arrivals in a city should get involved with the core group of worker bees.

Having block parties for the street is great for getting to know all the neighbours in May and June. Have a little organizing meeting before the big party and get helpers. Put notices in mailboxes, with your email only for security. Block parties are a snap if you have the even addresses bring salads and the odds bring desserts and everybody brings what they want to barbecue. Set up across one to three yards on your side of the street and you become the star and focal point of the street.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend has pet names for me, which she thinks are cute, but they remind me of my mother, who drips sugar. My mother lives in Calgary and they haven't met each other. I tried to explain it to my girlfriend, and she said: "Oh no, do you have intimacy issues?" I don't have any issues except being treated like a baby by a woman. -- Angry Cowboy

Dear Angry Cowboy: Don't let her cow you. Say boldly: "Everybody has issues, yourself included, if we were to dig a little deeper. One of my little issues is not liking pet names because my mother is too free with them and it gets sickening. I am asking you nicely to call me by my name. I like the way you say it."

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition April 30, 2014 D4

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