Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Tell friends that the subject of your divorce is closed

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I find myself in the middle of a lot of changes, divorce proceedings, custody issues, housing transition, losing friends I had as a married person. Like so many other people, I'm overwhelmed. Where are there inexpensive or free counselling services to help sort out this mess and get back to my life? My ex is doing a lot of trash-talking and I want to just move on. Our friends are running to me with every little tidbit he gives them. How can I get across I'd rather lose them as friends if that's all they want to talk about? My ex was a very abusive man and it seems he still harassing me by going through my friends now. -- Want my Life Back, Winnipeg

Dear Want My Life: Start with telling your friends that the subject is closed. You don't want to hear one single thing about your ex-husband from them again. As an alternative to intimate chatting, phone them for activities such as movies, concerts, sports, walks in a group, anything that is not overly intimate. You don't want to be face-to-face over a cup of coffee anymore. You will lose a few more of the gossipy friends, but they don't have your best interest at heart anyway. A healthy way to connect with new friends would be to join the Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends program (204-775-3484) where you'll get to know new, understanding friends who are going through the same transition. Free walk-in counselling is available through Klinic, most churches, synagogues and temples offer free counselling. If you are working, your group insurance may pay for part or all of the cost of seeing a psychologist which can sometimes be the most beneficial situation for a suddenly single person who wants to make important changes.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can't stand my mother-in-law but she pretends to love me so she can be over here all the time seeing her sweet, darling youngest son. She really wishes I were dead. Well, not dead, just gone for good. What do you suggest? -- Fed Up To Here, St. Boniface

Dear Fed Up: Encourage your husband to start taking his mother out to dinner and concerts -- as much as once a week. Every time she gets to be alone with him is three times she won't show up at your door that week. She gets to drink her fill. She doesn't want to share him with you but she doesn't see any other choice. Does he like his mom? Maybe not, now that you're complaining about all her faults. But, listen to this: It would be good for him to not have to pay for his marriage by giving up his mother. Tell him you'd be really happy to see him take his mom out weekly or stay home with her and the grandchildren (if there are some) while you go out to a class or the gym. If his mother comments she never sees you any more, ignore the dig and say, "But isn't it great you get to see your son more often?" Invite her over for group dinners when you have extended family over. Even the presence of one other person will keep a difficult in-law on best behaviour.

 

Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1350 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 12, 2013 D3

History

Updated on Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at 2:16 PM CST: Corrects telephone number.

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Gord Steeves targets traffic cameras

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • PHIL.HOSSACK@FREEPRESS.MB.CA 101130-Winnipeg Free Press Columns of light reach skyward to the stars above Sanford Mb Tuesday night. The effect is produced by streetlights refracting through ice crystals suspended in the air on humid winter nights. Stand Up.....
  • JJOE.BRYKSA@FREEPRESS.MB.CA Local-Postcard  Day-Horror frost and fog created a most beautiful setting at Assiniboine Park Thursday morning in WInnipeg- Enviroent Canada says the fog will lifet this morning and will see a high of -7C-  JOE BRYKSA/WINNIPEG FREE PRESS- Feb 18, 2010

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do you plan on attending any of the CMHR opening weekend events? (select all that apply)

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google